What Hurts The Most

You know what hurts the most. What hurts the most is when you feel someone else's pain and suffering. It hurts knowing that someone you care about and love is hurting so much. I for one can't see other's people pain. I can see it visually I can't see it verbally. I just can't see it. ( I am not saying I literally can't see it but it hurts to see it).

I come to realise one it comes to someone getting physically hurt. I feel that pain and though it isn't as strong as the physical pain itself it still hurts. It hurts to the point I wanna cry cause I can't take it. Yes, I know I am weak and normally if I do get hurt tears would form, but that isn't the point.

I don't usually feel someone else's pain emotionally unless I felt something or understand what the person is going through or that they person is someone I really care about. But physical pain is something I do feel regardless if it is someone I know or not. But it hurts much, much more knowing that the person is so close to you.

I wonder how one of my friends deal with it. She seems so empathetic (haha~ sound like I am calling her pathetic but no she isn't) I don't know such pain is something you can really describe with words and it something I don't think many would understand. Cause you think how can you hurt more than the person who is actually baring the pain. I agree logically it doesn't make sense but it really does hurt. In fact I think I rather feel the pain for the person I care about and love instead of seeing him or her in so much grief and pain.

I rather suffer than to see others suffer. Cause when I suffer that means I can't see others suffer which to me is much better. Haha~~~ Yeah I don't know. I don't like seeing others physical pain and so when people complain about how much they are hurting I feel helpless and upset that I can't help them myself and relieve that pain. Sigh~

You know, I probably won't handle the pain very well. In fact, I know how much it would hurt and how much I would cry if it hurts so much. But I still wish I could share the person's pain or at least help them forget the pain as much as possible otherwise I am just completely useless. Probably am. . . I don't think I relieve the pain, Ling is in. I don't know how much it hurts for him but listening and seeing just breaks me. I wanna cry and hurt for him.

Honestly, do I really love him that much? . . . At this current moment, I can say I probably do. I will be strong and. . . not be useless. Yup. . . problem I have to study for Studies Of Religion exam tomorrow. . . >~< what to do???