You know the saying "Stick and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." Well I don't think it is a very good quote. I keep have the same words been repeated in my head over and over again and same questions that repeat itself so many times I lost count.
Last night, I felt the pain of the words and after letting it out I though that I was over it yeah words will never hurt me. But I was talking to a friend cause I wanted some opinion or just talk to a friend. As I was typing everything just floods back and my pain and hurt flows with it. I haven't felt that much sadness in a while I mean felt anger before but not sadness.
I want to forgive and forget. I don't want him to know but I think of him my hear feels heavy. I think of him and I just don't feel in the mood to talk to him. Another thing that worries me is that I feel that he has something bothering him and though I don't wanna talk to him due to the words that I keep hearing. I feel the need to be there cause I should be there for him when he is upset. It is such a strong eager to just forget my own pains and go there to be with him in case he needs support.
Should I go with my own wishes and just avoid him for the day? Or should I not be selfish and forget about the pain I felt for the past 24hrs just to check if he is ok? If I do the latter, it means I would never show him how much his words had hurt me. But if I didn't, I would feel bad for not being there if he did need me. Either way, I would feel pain. None of the options seems to give me an advantage. . .
. . .
Guys, I have. . .
. . .
I have decided, I am gonna let everything go. I need to be sure he is ok. Yup, if he is then I just sulk in the corner by myself until I feel better and if he isn't then I would force the happiness in me to help cheer him up (I really don't know how to do that).
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