Suffocating

Sorry, my lovely friends but I don't think I can be that happy and positive person I am trying to be. I feel like I am suffocating in the air filled with negativity, trapped in this atmosphere and gasping for that fresh air. I can barely take this anymore.

I have come to the conclusion that I never want to eat hot pot at home again. I love eat it but my dad is so incredibly annoying about it and the arguments that arise it is just hard to escape from. Nowadays I can't even leave the table first because I am bound to it until the end so I can help my mum out.

The house now is filled with negativity and it is choking me to death. I just really need a way out of this I need to get out and even though this week I have be going out everyday it isn't the sort escape I need. I am losing that happiness that I have held for a while but now I am just falling into an endless pit. I. . .

I don't know what to say anymore. I really just wanna a break. I want to escape and go out of this house but then again I can't I worry for my mum cause of some issues that is arising which I won't bring up here. Now because of all these issues more arguments seems to arise especially today at first I thought yay everything seems to be going alright which was surprising but now it is going down hill.

Alright I think I have just said a whole bunch of random things and I don't even think it makes sense and honestly my mind is so messed up and I can barely breathe with everything that has been going on. I am just mentally and physically exhausted. I want to sleep I want to fall into my happy dreams.

Alright, I need to go back to my study or maybe I need to help my mum again. I don't know. I am going to plan a day for myself where I can escape, I think I really need it.