Reconsidering. . .

I am reconsidering about going to Korea now. There is going to be some financial problem not that my parents mind me going to korea and paying for it but I also wanna go China. Should I consider having fun or go visit my grandfather? I wanna be go and have fun with friends and enjoy that free moment but I am worried that I won't be able see my grandfather cause I am not sure when I would be able to return to china.

I really wanna see him. He is my only grandparent left. I never knew my grandparents from my dad's side and I never got to say goodbye to my grandmother personally which was a couple of years ago. I was pretty close to my grandfather and I miss him. He is getting old and I don't know how long he has left. But I wanna at least see him before I lose him forever.

. . .

What should I do? I don't know if my parent would be able to afford letting me go both korea and china and maybe I should not be selfish and choose one or the other. But then again if I go korea, I might miss my chance to visit my grandfather. If I go korea, I miss the opportunity of exploring and being independent and just having that after school break thing with my friends.

I need to really think about it.

Grandfather, please be well. please wait for me. Wait for me to see you again. Please God don't take him away until I see him (I don't know if I even believe in God but I know my grandfather does and so does my mother) So please. . .