It is Complicated

Ok second part of english is complete and pretty sure I didn't do to well but how cares.

So today, is complicated the only reason though cause there is a lot I have to think about and at this time when trials are so important. This should really be the last on my worry list but it isn't. I should listen to my own advice I gave to onee-san stop thinking about trials is more important. But this is just. . .  hard to ignore.

I start from the beginning.

So today, after english exam I went with 2 friends S.Z and M.V to go library to study and all that cause well it is trials what do you expect. Not that I really got a lot of study done due to being so tired. But anyway, after I had tutoring which lasted till 8:00. Ling wanted to meet up for a bit after my tutoring so I decided that just for 30 mins would be fine since I don't have an exam tomorrow anyway.

I was left stranded for 30 mins cause Ling had to go home and I know something bad must of happened cause I did get a call from his dad which I didn't pick up cause I was in tut. I had also received a voicemail which was the result in all this heavy feeling and question that lies within my head.

The voicemail was left by Ling's mum and she told me all these things about stop seeing him, he is a bad boy, has a lot of girlfriends, and what good of a man would he by and why I would want him and that she didn't and all these random things. Basically trying to tell me to just break things off and I could hear in her voice she was upset and angry at him. But the things she says still strikes me and it makes me feel upset. I am upset for Ling cause what she says seems really bad and just saying how bad Ling was. Part of me would disagree to what she says but then again the girlfriend part. . . This is the part caught me attention. . . Should I believe what she said? I mean she has raised him and possible know about his love life before.

Then again seeing that she is so angry and upset with Ling makes the words she said quite unreliable at the same time. I huge part of me is telling me to believe in my own instinct and to trust the one you love because if you love someone than you trust them. But then there is all this questions about trust that I always have and everything just gets complicated.

>~<

I don't know really. I discuss this with D.H a bit considering she has some sort of connection with his family due to being family friends and all. But letting all this out, I come to a conclusion. One I will talk to Ling about this. Two that I would follow what I have said, I would trust him cause I do love him and I see a side of him that I love and regardless of what everyone tells me I see the good in him. (Love is blind as they say but mieh). I will keep to what I have told him, I am willing to stay with a guy through all the hardship as long as I love him and he loves me cause that is all I really need. All I want is a good man that I love and that loves me. A guy that is willing to provide that dream I have always hoped for.

Is Ling the guy? He has a similar dream that is for sure. But it is too early to even think about this. To end this I will say I will just the one I love and if it is meant to be then it is meant to be.