Myself

I wonder about myself a lot, not recently though cause I have been distracted. But if I think about myself I see all those things good and bad about myself. I notice somethings that I have changed and somethings I keep the same. I noticed that there are things that I don't know how to change. One thing I can change is having the ability to be taken advantage of. I don't like making people angry at me or upset with me or disappointed with (family is a different matter). So basically if I feel bad about something I would probably do something I initially didn't want to do just to make the other one happy which isn't a good thing cause they might want something is bad. So yeah how am I meant to deal with that?

I don't know sometimes with some people I feel more comfortable and I open a side of me that I didn't even know I had and slowly I realised I beginning to show a side of me that isn't the best side but it is me being a little more opened. I know swearing and all that isn't a good thing but it is another way of expressing myself and at times it relieves me from anger. I manage to hold in my anger very well comes with practice I guess. But not only that I have a sort time span of when I am angry cause later I begin to rethink about my actions and see how stupid I am to do what I might have done. It is me and I guess the good apart of me, but then don't take advantage of that either cause I know I trust someone until the prove to me that are not to be trusted. Not a good way to look at things cause really you should trust someone that u know u can trust but is how I say things.

I don't know my way of thinking always seem to disadvantage me but then it is advantage for others and if it is for the people I love I guess I won't mind give up something to see them smile. There are serious matters that I can't give in as easily it might take some time maybe a year maybe less or maybe more. It all depends.

Honestly I have no idea what I am typing about myself I felt that I need to blog since I haven't in a while and this was the thing that I have been thinking about today. Though this is just reflecting on me nothing more nothing less.

But I guess I am happy with me at the moment of cause there is so much more in life I need to conquer and get over but at the current moment I am happy. hehe~

(Sorry for a weird blog post, didn't really know what to say and my hands are frozen)