Why Today???

I am actually quite competitive at times even though I am not sure what I am count as me being competitive but I know this is just me trying to show off a bit. You see, I wasn't very popular in primary school. . . actually I don't think many people liked me in primary school for a couple of reason. I know two of my friends disliked me because of an incident in year 4 where I told another friend that I like hang around people that are chinese which they later found out and thought I was racist. I do agree I was being a little racist but in my defence at that time of my life I had no idea what that word meant or how my words might have offended them. (Yeah, I was vocabulary that time was. . .) Anyway, I am sorry about that. However, since that year I have been a lonely wonderer as I float from different friendship groups until I finally settle down with a couple of new friends in year 6 which still include some old friends I had. Though, deep down inside my heart, I always had a small voice telling me that these aren't real friends because I couldn't connect with them and I wasn't as mature at the age. My mind wasn't interested in anything that they were like boys, little pranks which I didn't think was funny, and random social networks sites.

Once a reached, high school I began feeling like a belong with people and where I really felt comfortable about how I am and my own life. High school is the time were I began to mature a little bit each day but I must admit not much has changed because I am still quite childish. After all this background information it doesn't seem to fit with my title, well I am getting to that. Anyway, so ever since I finally found proper friends that understand me like the way I understand them, I will always have the feeling to show off to my old friends that I am not like before. Probably should I have mention that I always have the suspicion that they think I will never find friends in high school which I guess is stupid but for me I am just that kind of person to worry about what other people think. Come to think of it, I probably should stop thinking like that. . . Oh well back to the topic.

So as I was saying, I wanted to show my friends how much I have changed. Well, today is another thursday which means I have maths tutoring (>~<) and usually on this day Ling would accompany me for an hour or so since I have time to spare before tutoring. Unfortunately, today he wasn't able to come since he needed to study for his upcoming extension maths exam on the following day which I hope he did because if he didn't then. . . *taking a deep breathe* Anyway, I was on a call with Rebecca as she was bored waiting for her bus and decided to talk to me for some entertainment while I was seating on a bench near the station. Halfway through my call I hear someone say
" Oh Hi Xinying" I turned and realised it was my old school friend which was the girl who started to dislike me in year 4 and I honestly couldn't get along with her. First thought was damn it wish I had someone with me since she has two friends with her. Anyway I greeted her as well which after she replied me saying " Sorry, I don't have time to talk to you right now." The thoughts running through my head was 'What the?' but you know what I don't care if she did have time to talk to me because I am busy in a call so really I don't have time to talk to her. I returned back to my call with Rebecca and I had mention to her why it has to be today? why can't it be any other thursday when Ling is with me? Unfortunately this is all out of our control so I occupied myself with enjoying my conversation with Rebecca and after a couple of minutes my old school friend started talking to me again.
" Are you always here?"
" Yeah, just Thursday because I have tutoring,"
" Oh, where?"
" Umm... at this persons house. I'm just waiting for my friends to come"
" you know VN wanted to come to here."
" Oh really!"
" Yeah. Maybe next time you should come and join us here."
" Yeah, sure. I come here to catch my bus home everyday anyway."
" Oh really, which bus?"
" The M90." The conversation might have been different a bit, I don't exactly remember to well but that is basically what we talked about. After that conversation I had to meet up with my friends in front of the station so I said farewell to my old school to be polite and also hanged up with Rebecca since she had to go. The rest of the day was fine just that I wasn't able to prove to her how much I have changed since primary school and how much better I became. Like I said this is probably me trying to be a show off maybe I just want to show them that I wasn't as bad as they might of thought. Likely it is just me thinking to much into it but no matter what I just wished that I had someone their with me to just make the few minutes more bearable. Oh well that is all in the past now and I shouldn't care about this so much. My 2 hours of tutoring was ok and weird at the start as one my of friends said something which contented Ling's name which I was thinking 'What is she saying?' I was a little freaked out because I knew that the guy infront of them knows Ling so I hoped that he didn't hear what the had said especially since I found out that my friend called me ' Ling's wife.' (>~<)

Oh well. Overall the day has been ok. Thank you Rebecca for the call today and I am glad that I was talking to you at that time it help quite a bit. Ling, Good Luck on your exam tomorrow hope you study and something else at that time cause I would have really like you there especially if you were not studying.
Love You~~~ Bye Bye Now ^v^