Tears of. . .

Tears of pain; Tears of anger; Tears of Frustration

Once again my family life has ruined my good mood that I  had felt not too long ago. I have said this before but I often hear my parents argue no matter where the are within the house and at first you brush past it until one day it gets on your very last nerve. Well. . . yesterday night and this afternoon, I am finally about to crack just haven't full thrown out all the negativity I feel just yet. Honestly, I am really sick of hearing them complain and argue about one another either at each or to me. What do they expect from me? I don't know what to do, and it just hurts to even think about it.

Yesterday night, after I finished the daily call with Ling I heard some door opening noises outside for a moment I didn't think to much into until I heard my mum yelling. Thankfully my dad didn't start riling up otherwise things would start to have become ugly. My dad was pestering my mum to help him fill up a hot water bottle however, my mum has been having a headache early this morning and had turned in early. My dad wouldn't stop annoying her by opening the door and lights but leaving them on once he left. For once my mum being stubborn refused to help her and has screaming and cursing at my dad for is selfishness which I agreed. I just hid in my blankets hoping that I would be able stop hearing the yelling from my mum, the slam of the door every time my mum jumped out to close it. I admit I probably should have helped my dad in place of my mum and filled the hot water bottle but it isn't like he has no hands or no legs that he can't complete the task himself. He is just being stubborn, self-centre and selfish as he usually is towards my mum not to often with me not still a lot compared to most dads.

This afternoon, I was just about to stop there arguments and yell at them about this constant arguing but I didn't end up doing it as I have only done this, once I at the top of how much I can take? My mum isn't feel to well today as she is sick for one and lost her voice from the screaming she was doing the night before. She still had some voice left to keep on with the argument she had with my dad that often, this time it was harder for me to block out but I managed. I was downstairs eating wontons (some kind of asian dumplings that my mum made)  as they where yelling while I placed both my earphones in and turned up my music to the point that there yelling was only a whisper to me. I feel bad for my mum as for everything she does for the household it doesn't seem to be enough for my dad who complains about every little detail. I don't have much courage to stand up for my mum unlike my sister who would protect my mum and yell in place of my mum which turned my dad against her. My sister was brave and can stand up for herself as well as others and like my dad, she is very hot-tempered. Should not go on her bad side, it is quite scary not that I do but she is really nice in every other way, BEST SISTER EVER~~~

I have a bad feeling about dinner now cause I don't think it would be very peaceful and usually about the time I could and would crack. Hope I don't and if I do then lets hope I don't mentally break down which trust me I will. Haha~ (=_=)