Too Straight Forward~~~

Being straight forward is a good quality to have but sometimes being too straightforward you can actually hurt someone without you realising as you think that your just being honest. It has happened to me a few times already at first I can brush it off but after it occurs again and again you just kind of get disheartened and for me I start to paranoid over it and that is just me.

I don't know how to explain it and express how much it depresses me because it has taken me a while to accepted that I don't look to bad whether it is in real life or in photos. But now im starting feel a little to self-conscious about my looks, beginning to pick out the little details that I never really noticed before and all the bad qualities I had before. I probably thinking too much again but that is what I do and I don't know how to change like many other things I don't know how to change. (>~<˚).

I love how straightforward people can be but maybe warn beforehand because I don't want to be disheartened again or maybe I just don't want to hear it at the point. While at times it is perfectly fine when you dont have anything good to say then you just dont say anything at all. It gives the same message but in a little less harmful way. . . guess. TT^TT 

*sigh* I don't want to look. . . I don't want to feel. . .  I dont want to be. . .

Thank you for your honesty. . . But it hurts. . . >~<  Though I still want you honesty. . .  Because I realised that is one of the things I love about you ^_^

Why Today???

I am actually quite competitive at times even though I am not sure what I am count as me being competitive but I know this is just me trying to show off a bit. You see, I wasn't very popular in primary school. . . actually I don't think many people liked me in primary school for a couple of reason. I know two of my friends disliked me because of an incident in year 4 where I told another friend that I like hang around people that are chinese which they later found out and thought I was racist. I do agree I was being a little racist but in my defence at that time of my life I had no idea what that word meant or how my words might have offended them. (Yeah, I was vocabulary that time was. . .) Anyway, I am sorry about that. However, since that year I have been a lonely wonderer as I float from different friendship groups until I finally settle down with a couple of new friends in year 6 which still include some old friends I had. Though, deep down inside my heart, I always had a small voice telling me that these aren't real friends because I couldn't connect with them and I wasn't as mature at the age. My mind wasn't interested in anything that they were like boys, little pranks which I didn't think was funny, and random social networks sites.

Once a reached, high school I began feeling like a belong with people and where I really felt comfortable about how I am and my own life. High school is the time were I began to mature a little bit each day but I must admit not much has changed because I am still quite childish. After all this background information it doesn't seem to fit with my title, well I am getting to that. Anyway, so ever since I finally found proper friends that understand me like the way I understand them, I will always have the feeling to show off to my old friends that I am not like before. Probably should I have mention that I always have the suspicion that they think I will never find friends in high school which I guess is stupid but for me I am just that kind of person to worry about what other people think. Come to think of it, I probably should stop thinking like that. . . Oh well back to the topic.

So as I was saying, I wanted to show my friends how much I have changed. Well, today is another thursday which means I have maths tutoring (>~<) and usually on this day Ling would accompany me for an hour or so since I have time to spare before tutoring. Unfortunately, today he wasn't able to come since he needed to study for his upcoming extension maths exam on the following day which I hope he did because if he didn't then. . . *taking a deep breathe* Anyway, I was on a call with Rebecca as she was bored waiting for her bus and decided to talk to me for some entertainment while I was seating on a bench near the station. Halfway through my call I hear someone say
" Oh Hi Xinying" I turned and realised it was my old school friend which was the girl who started to dislike me in year 4 and I honestly couldn't get along with her. First thought was damn it wish I had someone with me since she has two friends with her. Anyway I greeted her as well which after she replied me saying " Sorry, I don't have time to talk to you right now." The thoughts running through my head was 'What the?' but you know what I don't care if she did have time to talk to me because I am busy in a call so really I don't have time to talk to her. I returned back to my call with Rebecca and I had mention to her why it has to be today? why can't it be any other thursday when Ling is with me? Unfortunately this is all out of our control so I occupied myself with enjoying my conversation with Rebecca and after a couple of minutes my old school friend started talking to me again.
" Are you always here?"
" Yeah, just Thursday because I have tutoring,"
" Oh, where?"
" Umm... at this persons house. I'm just waiting for my friends to come"
" you know VN wanted to come to here."
" Oh really!"
" Yeah. Maybe next time you should come and join us here."
" Yeah, sure. I come here to catch my bus home everyday anyway."
" Oh really, which bus?"
" The M90." The conversation might have been different a bit, I don't exactly remember to well but that is basically what we talked about. After that conversation I had to meet up with my friends in front of the station so I said farewell to my old school to be polite and also hanged up with Rebecca since she had to go. The rest of the day was fine just that I wasn't able to prove to her how much I have changed since primary school and how much better I became. Like I said this is probably me trying to be a show off maybe I just want to show them that I wasn't as bad as they might of thought. Likely it is just me thinking to much into it but no matter what I just wished that I had someone their with me to just make the few minutes more bearable. Oh well that is all in the past now and I shouldn't care about this so much. My 2 hours of tutoring was ok and weird at the start as one my of friends said something which contented Ling's name which I was thinking 'What is she saying?' I was a little freaked out because I knew that the guy infront of them knows Ling so I hoped that he didn't hear what the had said especially since I found out that my friend called me ' Ling's wife.' (>~<)

Oh well. Overall the day has been ok. Thank you Rebecca for the call today and I am glad that I was talking to you at that time it help quite a bit. Ling, Good Luck on your exam tomorrow hope you study and something else at that time cause I would have really like you there especially if you were not studying.
Love You~~~ Bye Bye Now ^v^

Studying In the Library

My friend, MV, and I decided to go to a Library on the Wednesday afternoon, so that we can work on our ancient assessment. I had mentioned to my friend it to Rebecca who decided to join us especially since she wouldn't be able to see us the whole day. So as soon as school has ended I took my normal route towards the train station with MVas we planned on getting some food along the way to the library. I thought I should contact Rebecca to confirm where we are meeting her but before I had the time to text or call her, MV had spotted her waiting for us down at the platform.

We caught up with Rebecca's day at her Japanese excursion while we informed her about the things she mad missed out on. The train ride past quite fast as we enjoy each others company as well as chowing down Rebecca's lollies that she gave us. Once we got at of the station, we enter the local food stores to buy some food and drinks before walking the rest of the way to the library. Like any other library we are not able to bring food in however there was a specific section where you are allowed to eat and work as long as you don't pass the point where the sign says 'no food or drinks past this point'. That was ok, with us as we enjoyed our meal as MV and I tried to work on our ancient assessment while Rebecca concentrated on her maths homework. We only spent an hour in the library, which the time had past quite quickly with not much work completed which was the main point of going to the library. Anyway MV, left first as her brother was picking her up around 5:00 while Rebecca and I stayed 15 mins later and occupied that time taking a few pics which I wanted to post as a display picture. It has been a while since Rebecca and I spent some quality time talking and chatting about anything that comes to our mind. From memory, the last time that we talked at the same place was around our exam block which I remember me mentioning about Ling, who at the time was just my first guy friend. To us the time was to short and therefore to extend our conversation, Rebecca called me on the phone a couple of minutes after we parted. Since she is able to call anyone with the same phone company as hers with no charge, we were able to couple for as long as we wanted. We hanged up around about 5:50 as she need to start her maths tutoring but that was ok as I am just glad for the time we have had together.

Thanks Rebecca for the wonderful company and loved our conversations we had that day on every other day that we had before. My lovely and Beautiful Onee-san, Rebecca. (though you are only older by 9 days =.=) @^v^@

Report~~~

I was so anxious about getting my report back as I knew I didn't do as well as I have hoped therefore leading me into my mums constant complaining and disappointment. My mum expect me to do brilliantly in my maths exam along with Chemistry, Biology and English though she mainly wanted me to top my class for maths. However, I knew my exams this time where not up to her expectation which caused my worries as I knew how she will react.

They day began alright as I had enjoyed most if my classes as well as spent a good afternoon with my friends wonder in the streets around my school before my interviews. Rebecca, DH, AS, SZ, and MV wondered with me as everyone decided to stay behind as they had their interviews coming up soon. First we left for Easy-way where only MV and I brought a drink while AS left for the shop next door.  Bread top was next in line for the 6 of us to visit but only SZ wanted something there. We continued on our trip to the mall as DH wanted to buy some boost juice as she wanted to drink something healthy. Rebecca and I waited with MV at the ATM while DH, SZ and AS walked ahead. We had a lovely conversation as we tried to catch up with the others and stopped halfway to buy some sushi to satisfy our hunger though Rebecca didn't buy anything. Once we finally caught up to DH, SZ and AS, it was about time Rebecca and I returned back to school for our interviews. Both of us said our farewells with the rest of the group as they continued their trip to somewhere that I am unaware of. Rebecca and I continued our lovely conversation along the way to school which I really enjoyed as I always would. But I knew that the great day would not last as my reports shall be the start of a torturous complaining from my mum and most of my teachers seem to understand as well, especially my maths teacher.

When I went for my first interview which was my maths teacher, she could tell that my mum wasn't happy with the marks and realised that my mum would compare me to my sister who was in a selective school and very smart. My maths teacher understanding the situation tries to help me by complimenting me as well as telling my mum that I would improve as I go along and this was only the first exam. I knew that she was helping me as I notice her wink at me a couple of times during the interview. My other teachers weren't all that bad either as they had all taken my side to convince my mum that I can do better and will do better. Unfortunately nothing seem to have enter my mum's mind except that though of how badly I preformed in my exam. The worst part is where my mum meet my friend, DH parents because one they are able to complain about us together making it worse for both DH and me.

Overall the day was not bad as my mum had dropped the conversation about my grades during dinner and instead we talked about western cuisine's.

NOT LISTENING~!~!~!

Today has been an ok day for me though at times at little lonely but compared to what happened at dinner being lonely seem so much better. As you all know, I dislike my family situation and today it is no different again as I have to listen to them b.... about each other during dinner again. At first, I could take the little comments they had but then my dad started rising his voice while my mum kept commenting about how the moment my father came home she becomes unhappy. Trying to keep the piece during dinner, I told them to please not argue while we are eating however, as usual they did not and would not answer. Both of them continued to b.... about each other as the voice became louder. One more time, I begged them to stopped their arguments during dinner just for dinner but it ended with no result again. The third time I just decide to say my thoughts out aloud by saying,
"So you guys won't listen to anything I say huh?" My dads replies me with something bad about my mum which I answered him with:
" I know, but I want to eat dinner in peace. I hear enough of your arguments already I don't want to hear it now." Finally, a little piece and quite but would it last? Unfortunately NO because just a few seconds later the b....... continues again, this time I felt tears starting to form but not yet able to drop. I quickly gulp down the last of my bowl of rice, place the bowl in the sink and run upstairs. I barely made it to my room when I had a small mental breakdown where tears stream down my face and I was unable to control it. I didn't want to enter my room as I had a call on with my two friends and did not want them to hear me as they are already so busy. Calming myself down in a couple of minutes I pushed myself up from the wall which I was leaning against through my mental breakdown.

Entering my room, I closed my door so that I can stop hearing any further arguments but decided to keep this from my friends. I don't need to bother them about my personal business especially when they are all so busy with there own studies. I'm slightly glad that Ling was on at the time, I still don't want to show that side of me yet even though I really wanted him there so I can hug him till my tears dry up.

After dinner, my dad came upstairs asking me why I close my door which I answered him honestly and said to block out there arguments. My dad complained to me that it isn't him who is arguing with my mum but it is my mum arguing with him. To me it makes no difference, the point is I am sick of it the fighting which continued the minute my mum came upstairs. Running to my room, closed the door beginning another mental breakdown as I leaned on the door. My mum tried coming in but was unsuccessful asking whats wrong which I just told her I don't want to hear you guys arguing which my mum gave up with the door and left me alone. My mum continued to argue with my dad as I continued my mental breakdown and repeating to myself that I am fine which worked. Now that everything is calm, I think I finally have calm down thankfully.

Sorry about my rambling and sorry for kind of using an inappropriate word but there was no other way to explain it. I am finally calm and happy.

Happy Birthday AZ; 12 years of Friendship

I wonder if you guys have ever had a friend that you have known for almost your whole life? If so then you would understand how much I would cherish such a friendship. I honestly never expected to be friends with someone with such a wonderful heart and accompanied me through my journey like I have with hers. AZ, has been my friend for around close to 12 years now and she is an amazing, beautiful and most wonderful girl you could ever meet. She has such a warm caring heart and helped me a lot through life when I needed her most which I certainly will do the same for her.

It seems like yesterday when we first meet thought I could hardly remember it since I was around about 5 years nearly 6 while she was only 3 - 4 years old (I might have been older, >~<). From memory I was reading by on my bicycle with its little training wheel and I think (don't kill me if I am wrong) my friend was reading her tricycle. Not long after our first meeting, we began our friendship which so far has lasted over a decade. In all friendships, we have the ups and downs which happened a few times to us though we were younger than and those small little arguments we had about how we should spend our time together. However, I enjoy every down and rise of our friendship because without it we wouldn't have developed our friendship to the standard we are now.

AZ I am so grateful for the friendship we have together, I will cherish it forever with you. I know that we can last another 12 years probably even longer but I just want to know that no matter what you will always be the my best friend just like a sister I never had. Thank you Alice, Best Friends Forever or Best Buddies Forever (remember ^.^)

Nothing else to say but:

HAPPY 14th BIRTHDAY AZ

Not Enough Sleep and A Slightly Interesting Day~~~

Recently, I have not been getting enough sleep for some unknown reason I would constantly wake up in the middle of the night over and over again. This has been happening ever since Saturday night though I for the first two days I understood why I didn't sleep well enough. Saturday night, my mind has been racing with billions of thought along with my heart as it was excited for the day I had ahead which I had mentioned about in one of my previous blogs. Sunday night, my heart and mind still hadn't came out of the excitement of the amazing day I had. But the following nights just didn't make much sense to me as I still had inconstancy  sleeps and for some reason, I had felt the need to hug on to something which helped with some constancy. Last night was slightly different however I was still exhausted from the random dreams I had which now I can barely remember. 

Waking up this morning I felt depressed though strangely happy as well because rain makes me feel calm and happy and I am not even sure why (^.^). Anyway, coincidentally the weather had reflected much of my moods today which was quite interesting for me since once I felt my mood lighten up in the afternoon the sun had came out beaming it rays of happiness on to me. Though nothing really interesting happen to me until the afternoon came upon me (>v<).

So during the afternoon, I have an hour to spare before my tutoring as always but today I was expecting to be wondering around by myself. Ling usually accompanies but he had a bio exam meaning he would finish school in the late afternoon therefore I didn't expect him to wait for me today. To my surprise (even though I hoped for it) Ling waited until I finished school. At the station Ling accompanied by his friend P.H.P meet a few of my friends, C.G, S.Z, C.T and K.P and later also meeting C.T little sister C.t.

Unfortunate for me as she had such a big reaction and also a little annoying with some of her constant teasing not as much today.

* * *Moving on* * *

Ling accompanied me to Bread-top as I brought to buns before leaving for a korean store where I brought a Milkis which I love (^v^). I was a little surprise to see Rebecca when I left the store as I didn't expect to bump into her there though I knew I might since she had mention she would be going to the bank. Anyway, I greeted and parted with her after a few minutes, leaving for morning glory where I wonder around looking at some stationery's, soft toys and etc. Spent a few wonderful minutes in a hidden staircase where there we had our moment of intimacy for the day. (>v<) (^.^) About the end of our time left with each, we had spent it in the park as I awaited the arrival of my friends to leave for tutoring together. I had noticed one of my primary school friends near the train station who I didn't really like much and I think she had noticed me to but oh well, who cares (^v^). That hour is probably the most interesting time of my day other than a few conversation I had once I got on to a social networking site which even that was as interesting as that hour. 

Love you Ling and Thank you for waiting so long to meet with me~ 

Love~~~

This is a little poem, I just happen to write yesterday as I was feeling in the mood for it and felt like expressing something to someone.

Something are hard to express,

I try and try and it doesn't make sense.

Once finally making some progress,

I realised I am feeling too tense.

I turn a page and start again.

I can't help but think of you. 

Everything I write seems too plain. 

My feelings for you will always be true

Stay close to me, Honey.

I know you will understand me.

Your love makes me feel so lucky.

Beside you, I will always feel free. 

Love is as difficult as you make it be and can be as simple as you want it to be. Everyone is looking for something or someone to love or someone to love them as much as they love her/him even if that are unaware of it. If you want to love or be loved you must build up the courage and express your feelings to that the person you have your eyes on. Honestly, I never had that courage to take that step even though I had indirectly confessed to Ling, I could never tell him that I had feelings for him until he opened it up for me. You don't know what loves is like until you experienced it and it is something worth experiencing, enjoy and waiting for.

Forever Lasting Relationships

Ready when you need them

Indeed, a brilliant gift

Ever lasting yet rare gem

Never ending flow of support

Delighted to see you every time 

Someone you're unable to ignore.

*       *       *

People in my life that shine 

Of course love doesn't just exist between two couples but exist within the roam of friendships or family it is just expressed differently. Personally, I don't experience much of the love and warmth a family should have but I still feel some love and warmth from my mum which is all that really. . . at time (>.<). I have felt the rise and falls of friendship most of the falls were through primary but what goes down must come back up (I actually think the quote was the other way around but it works either way :P). I love all my friendships as they have all brought me so much happiness in times it is too difficult to breathe either because of some family problems or plain just by laughing too much. Friends are your second family, people that you know you can relate to, spend your spare time with, share your happiness sometimes your pain when needed to, and people that you share you deepest and darkest secrets. No one wants to be alone and the only cure for loneliness is friends. I will cherish all my friendship, praying and hoping that everyone one of them would last forever because the friends I have are the most wonderful people you would ever meet. Come to think of it anyone who cherish there friendship as much as I do would believe that their own friends are the best in the world and I would agree because they are the ones You can relate with.

So believe me Cherish your loved ones and don't let them disappear from your life because you never know if you can ever find someone as amazing as they are. One more thing I need to mention and that is:
I Love You, Mum.
I Love You, My Wonderful, Amazing and Beautiful Friends.
I Love You, Ling, The Most Amazing and My Prefect Boyfriend.

1 Month Anniversary

Happy 1 Month Anniversary, Ling

Yesterday, the 18th of May, was exactly one month since Ling and I started dating. We decided to go out today even though this Saturday is our anniversary, we wouldn't be able to spend a lot fo time together since I have tutoring and my mum would not let me cancel. Ling and I planned to meet up early in the morning at 8:30 where we always meet in the train station before travelling to central.

We had a great day planned for today where we will start the morning with a movie in Broadway before leaving to Chinatown to spend 2 hours in karaoke the spending our remain time by going to Galaxy world and take photos (@^.^@). The morning was freezing cold though it felt warmer being next to Ling as his hands always seem to be warm. Once we got to broadway, Ling wanted breakfast as he was hungry since he had not eaten anything since he woke up. He brought some Oporto Flame grilled chicken meal which we shared some in the cinema before the movie had started. We waited a bit before entering the theaters to buy our ticket and entering the cinema, we were a little early but we manage to pass the time until the movie started. Iron man 3 was a great movie, very entertaining and interesting even though I really never watched the 1st and 2nd movie but thats ok. Like the previous movies we had watched together since we've been dating, the two of us had miss a few scenes again (^.^  >v<). Anyway, around 12:40 the movie end as we made our way to Chinatown but once we got there we felt hungry and wanted something to snack on. We had remember the cream puffs that we had tried last time (the time before we started dating) and it was very delicious therefore deciding buy some again. Unfortunately, we had to wait in a long queue before we were able to get them which I guess was ok because it is worth it if we enjoyed it and who cares how long you have to wait when you are with someone special. Getting cream puffs we left for karaoke where we sing for most of the time other times we were eating cause we had order food from the karaoke place which was not bad, quite taste in fact. In the karaoke, there were some intimate moments but that I shall not divulge about it (>v<). Overall the Karaoke was very enjoyable as every moment I had still brings smiles to my face, actually everything that happened today would always bring never ending happiness.

With very minimum time left, we arrived at Morning Glory for photos as well as find a gift which Ling wanted to get to celebrate our 1 month anniversary. We shopped around to find a gift that we would both agree on before entering the photo booth and immediately agreed to buy a couple keyring the minute we saw it (though it did take a few minutes to pick one out :P). Before taking photos, we had noticed a section with Pokemon soft toys which reminded us of my friend MV who loves Pokemon and wants a mew toy. The both of us agree to get one for her along with the couple keyring and after taking photos. After enjoying the taking cute and sweet photos along with the add decorating and cutting of the photos, we grabbed the couple keyring we decided to get before arriving back at the Pokemon section. We tossed back and forth about whether we should get the mew toy or another toy that is cuter. Our final decision was to go with a cuter Pokemon toy which I can not recall its name as well as getting a cyndaquil for me (Sorry MV, if I spelt the name wrong :P). Though Ling thinks that the torchick is more like me (-.-) but thats... fine with me in a way... I guess. We didn't have enough time to go to Galaxy world however we did buy some more Cream puffs and Ling had brought a Meat Bun, Egg Tart, this Prawn Fried Dumplings and later along the way to the train station, a Tea Egg. Once again, it has come to the end of our date as we had to part in the train as it reached my stop. How time flies when you're having fun. I wished we didn't have to part so early but my mum insisted I come home early as well as the fact that I had guest coming over that night.

Throughout the day, Ling had teased me a fair bit (>v<) but I didn't mind too much as I have enjoyed every last moment we had together.

Thank you for everything today, Happy 1 Month Anniversary.
I LOVE YOU, LING. (@^.^@)

Dreaming again~

Ling once again came in my dreams tonight, some parts are @^.^@ and others are . . . ok I guess. Lets let you guys make that judgement. ^.^

I dont remember how this dream started but I only remember that I was sitting on the kerb with Ling talking and kissing like we usually would. There were a few interruptions as people passed on the pavement, one in which Ling new and talked to for a while. After his conversation with the guy he knew, he turned to me and said:
" Oh, in a few months, I am going to china for a while,"
" Oh, I remember." I was beginning to think about how I won't be seeing him for a long time nor be able to keep in contact as some social network are blocked in china. Slowly begin viewing how much I may miss him and brought tears in my eyes. I don't know why but I was hesitant in telling Ling who had noticed the tears and said " Dora~, Don't cry," while weeping away his tears with his fingers. As my tears creased, We began walking away from the kerb and enter a shopping centre which had a small little arcade in it. Within the shopping centre there were many girl from my school as if they were on an excursion. Ling and I entered the arcade to find DH and YL playing on one of the games as Ling and I passed them to play the button game that looked like the one in galaxy world. In the game Ling seem to always start later than me, it didn't seem like he was letting me win but then again he could have since I rarely close to never winning him. Once we finish playing games in the arcade we sat down on a table, Ling was busy with something and so I sneaked away to try and figure out if I should tell him or not. I found a few of my friends who I don't remember which ones and was about to ask them but didn't as I knew they would began some teasing so i left to find Rebecca. Once I found Rebecca she was doing her nails and asking her wasn't helping since she was busy so I walked off to wonder around and clear my thoughts. Rebecca later caught up with me and passed the information that Ling was looking for me and calling me on my mobile. I realised that my mobile was in my bag at the table where I was sitting with Ling before. I turned the corner of the coffee shop I was infront of and noticed looking around for me seemed to very worried. I walked towards him and the minute he noticed me he had stop trying to call me and hugged me before we kissed. From then I made up my mind to tell him about my worries and tears which he agreed that we would make an account so that we can contact each other.

The dream end there but continued into another dream with was slightly arousing. At first two unknown characters were roaming a house as it was a place they where going to living in it. The guy who pretended to be poor who was actually rich didn't like the place very much as it was kind of run down. They entered the bedroom where there was a double bed and some how another mattress next to the bed which came in handy later. The two people looked at each other before they decided to jump on and start kissing which was going to lead into other things. The rolled around the bed until the were so close to the each the fell on the mattress below, from that point the two unknown characters changed and it was Ling and I (>.<). Nothing happened after as we were interrupted as a movie began to play in the room and two friends of ours came into the room. A guy which was friends with both me and Ling (forget his name) sat next to me while YL sat beside Ling on the bed. Throughout the movie Ling and I kissed a few times and the guy along with YL joked with us a few times. The dream ended with that scene.

Ling, thank you for not making me jealous again even though you still have the tendency of causing tears but in a good way. ^.^ Love You.

Friday Afternoon~!~!~!

My bus friend CT and her little sister C.t (they have the same initials >.<) wanted to have some yogurt in Strathfield before catching our bus. Actually her sister really wanted to go to either Noggi, Yogohouse or Yogoberry cause she had never tried them before. So this Friday afternoon we decided to go to Noggi before catching out bus, arriving at Noggi there was a long queue to order which allow them to choose what they wanted. They took a few arguments before reaching a final decision while my friend AS and I just stood by and listened not wanting to be involve in there sister arguments. AS had tutoring today and decided to accompany us to Noggi until we had to go catch the bus. Anyway, Noggi was more expensive then the other yogurt stores around the area therefore I decided to get the cheapest one there which was the cone. Over than how expensive Noggi was, it was actually quite nice and I enjoyed ever last bit of my mango yogurt cone. (@^.^@). CT and C.t shared a Watermelon Maxi with choc drops, chocolate flakes and strawberry syrup which they bothed seem to enjoyed.

The girls infront of us took a while to get their order as something happened with the card they were using which we were slowly growing impatient. Finally getting our orders, we immediately left for our bus stop and parted with AS as she went the opposite direction for tutoring. At the bus stop we noticed, a bunch of homebush boys and I don't know why there are so many of them here as usually there wont be in Strathfield around that time. The bus we caught was also packed full of people and I ended up having to stand even though C.t found a seat that faced the back. I couldn't seat next to her as I have problem with seating backwards as it causes dizziness for me. The bus was held up for 10 minutes in Strathfield because of some traffic problem infront of the plaza and once we got out of the jam it was already 4:00 which by then I usually be home. The rest of the bus trip back to my place was fine as the three of us had a joyful conversations about food, family and some things that happened during primary which was lead from me seeing a girl I knew and was friends with for a period of time.

Jumping of at my stop there were around about 3 other people that had jumped off at the same time and one of which was the bus guy that had talked to me a couple of times. I was infront by a couple of steps as I started taking my earphones and listening to some music as well as letting my hair out what I usually like to do after my bus ride. The guy followed close behind me, unsure what his purpose was as sometimes he would either walk faster than me. Halfway back to my place I kicked a beer glass which I didn't notice and the guy gave me a smile before beginning a conversation with:

" How you going?" 

" Yeah alright. . ."

" So how is school going for you?"

" School is tiring for me."

" Why?"

" Because these is so much homework"

" I know,"

" How about you?"

" alright. . . except I hate English so much homework from that."

" Yeah. . . I'm sick of maths too much homework there."

" YES. I hate Maths,"

" Yup so tired of it." 

" Are you good at maths?"

" Ok, not doing too well."

" Really, what maths are you doing?"

" Extension"

" What!? that is good that is like above the average of school and you think your doing well?"

" Yeah, well it is tiring and we get homework everyday, kind of want to dropped it."

" Yeah. . ." 

The conversation end on the topic of maths which he had stay a little longer infront of my house to continue. We said our goodbye before I enter my house, greeted by my mum who first words were "How were you talking to?" :P Just like what she would do. I answered just that guy that talks to me from time to time no one special which lead to a few other curious question my mum had about him but my reassured her that there is nothing there. (Plus I have someone else I really love, that you Ling @^.^@). Returning home, mum had prepared some wontons for me as I prepared to start to do some work or at least what I planned to do. Hehe~

Anyway, it has been a great afternoon to end the school week. Thank you CT and C.t for the lovely end. Hope you don't feel jelly, Ling because you know I only Love You. (@^.^@)

Another Jealousy Dream

Yesterday Night I had another amusing dream and quite strange at some part as well but overal I seemed to enjoy the dream. One other fact I have started to realise as long as I get a call from him or maybe someone else (don't know if it is the same with other people) I would seem to be able to gain a amusing or short dream that include Ling. @^.^@ .

The Dream started with me finding out about Ling having a blog which I was the main topic. The blog seem to have gained a lot of popularity and the bog was shown on a big screen at this party. I along with Rebecca walked passed a long queue of people, who wanted to see Ling, to the front where he stood. Ling noticed us and left his podium to greet us. For some unknown reason I was viewing the scene through Rebecca's eyes so I saw Ling hugging myself (>.<). The rest of my Dream I was in my own body, thankfully. The party continued as Ling complete the things he need to do before coming to me where I was sitting on one of the rocking chairs in the park. Ling kissed and hugged me before telling he was going to greet a girl family friend hoping that I dont mind. I replied with a confident yes and waited patiently at the same spot. Later I heard Rebecca call my name as I turned to look at her where she was sitting on a see-saw carrying her dog, Benny. There was another see-saw where Ling & his family friend sat as she was attempting to get really close with Ling ans he was backing away a bit. I was trying to not watch but I constantly turned to see so I ended up leaving my seat to avoid looking. Ling noticed and followed me trying to stop me form feeling jealous as he used a cute sweet kind of whining tone w(which I have rarely heard him use but it was. . .@^.^@). He accompanied me as we walked around the park and back to where we originally started from. Ling wanted to introduce me to his girl family friend which I agreed to go however even though I was there sitting so close to Ling, his family friend still tired to be intimate with Ling.

The scenery changed into what my mind told was Ling's house and a few friends and a fe other girls I knew from my school appeared as Ling introduced his family friend and (not sure why) me as best friends. I was a little shocked and not exactly happy about the fact being introduced as best friend which is also weird because it isn't what he would actually do. I picked up the pace away from Ling which he noticed and followed me and like before and using the same tome, he tried to stop me feeling upset again. After his successful attempt we went into his room which ultimately was the end of my jealous yet very entertain dream.

Thank you for an entertaining dream but maybe next time try not to make me jealous. Love You Ling and Missing You. @^.^@ >v<

Tears of. . .

Tears of pain; Tears of anger; Tears of Frustration

Once again my family life has ruined my good mood that I  had felt not too long ago. I have said this before but I often hear my parents argue no matter where the are within the house and at first you brush past it until one day it gets on your very last nerve. Well. . . yesterday night and this afternoon, I am finally about to crack just haven't full thrown out all the negativity I feel just yet. Honestly, I am really sick of hearing them complain and argue about one another either at each or to me. What do they expect from me? I don't know what to do, and it just hurts to even think about it.

Yesterday night, after I finished the daily call with Ling I heard some door opening noises outside for a moment I didn't think to much into until I heard my mum yelling. Thankfully my dad didn't start riling up otherwise things would start to have become ugly. My dad was pestering my mum to help him fill up a hot water bottle however, my mum has been having a headache early this morning and had turned in early. My dad wouldn't stop annoying her by opening the door and lights but leaving them on once he left. For once my mum being stubborn refused to help her and has screaming and cursing at my dad for is selfishness which I agreed. I just hid in my blankets hoping that I would be able stop hearing the yelling from my mum, the slam of the door every time my mum jumped out to close it. I admit I probably should have helped my dad in place of my mum and filled the hot water bottle but it isn't like he has no hands or no legs that he can't complete the task himself. He is just being stubborn, self-centre and selfish as he usually is towards my mum not to often with me not still a lot compared to most dads.

This afternoon, I was just about to stop there arguments and yell at them about this constant arguing but I didn't end up doing it as I have only done this, once I at the top of how much I can take? My mum isn't feel to well today as she is sick for one and lost her voice from the screaming she was doing the night before. She still had some voice left to keep on with the argument she had with my dad that often, this time it was harder for me to block out but I managed. I was downstairs eating wontons (some kind of asian dumplings that my mum made)  as they where yelling while I placed both my earphones in and turned up my music to the point that there yelling was only a whisper to me. I feel bad for my mum as for everything she does for the household it doesn't seem to be enough for my dad who complains about every little detail. I don't have much courage to stand up for my mum unlike my sister who would protect my mum and yell in place of my mum which turned my dad against her. My sister was brave and can stand up for herself as well as others and like my dad, she is very hot-tempered. Should not go on her bad side, it is quite scary not that I do but she is really nice in every other way, BEST SISTER EVER~~~

I have a bad feeling about dinner now cause I don't think it would be very peaceful and usually about the time I could and would crack. Hope I don't and if I do then lets hope I don't mentally break down which trust me I will. Haha~ (=_=)

The Pain of Waiting

We have all experienced the pain of waiting for something that you really want to get but can't at the current moment of waiting to see someone but have to wait one whole week till you can. The waiting seems pass so slowly but one the time comes when you meet the person you hope that time would be slower so you can spend the more time with the person. I know exactly how that feels and I seem to been doing too much waiting that I can't wait anymore longer but unfortunately I still do (>.<). If we think about it, waiting makes the meeting more worthwhile and we will treasure the every last moment which sometimes helps ease the waiting processes. 

I have realised that when you really like someone, you wouldn't be able to stop thinking about them. When you can't stop thinking about them, you would begin missing them to the point that even when you are with him you seem to still miss him which doesn't make much sense but that is what it feels like. We all hate the waiting, the parting, the missing and the thinking of the next time you would meet with that person again, I would agree because I hate it too but even so I am glad to have find some that was worth the wait, the miss and parting only to think about the next time we will meet again.When you have experience you feel something different. . . something that only this can give and it is something that I am unable to describe. 

I will

I will patiently wait even if it is hard. 

I will always think about you for hours on end.

I will be missing you even when you don't know.

I will tell you "I love you" even when you know its true.

Please do the same for me just the way I do.

Missing you, Loving you and Think about You, Ling (as always @^.^@)

Mothers Day

It is Mother's day, the best day for alls mum's all over the world other than their own birthday's (might not be the case for my mum TT^TT) . However I am going to try and make tomorrow a good day for my mum as much as I can because she has done more than enough for me and I LOVE HER SO MUCH~~~ My mum is ver important to me as she is the one that has nurtured me, cared for me, loved me for all the good and the bad and no one in the world would be able to compare with the love that your own mother would give. This poem is for you Mummy hope you like it, though I know you dont understand but I will try to translate it later.

Mothers Day

Many things I want to say

Overall you are the best mum ever

Thank you for loving me with all your heart

Hugs form you are priceless

Everyday all I want to see is your smile

Really can't live without you

So please don't ever leave or stop loving me

Delighted, you are my mum and no one else's (except my sister)

As you are my guardian angel sent from God

You mean the world to me 

Mummy, I Love You. 我爱你, 妈妈 (@^.^@)

What a "Joyful" Family

Everyone has some kind of family problems some less than other and some with a lot more, there maybe be some families that have no problems at all but for me I consider myself having more than enough. In my household, I hear constant arguments back and forth, day in and day out, it may not be ever minute of the day but it is a lot for a teenage girl to take. When I am with my dad I hear so much complaints he has about my mum which I believe is completely wrong because my mum is the best mum in the world of course most people would think that about their own mum. Anyway, when I am with my mum I hear her complaining about my dad which I usually agree with her because he can be really annoying and also he has more flaws then anyone in the world (probably).

Growing up with a feuding family isn't easy for me because I am always the one that gets stuck in the middle and the one that has to take a side which I hate. My dad is not very nice as our whole family will consider him very self-centred, selfish and a hypocrite even though he is quite nice to me for the reason that he wants to be on my good side. Since I could remember, my sister hates my dad more than anyone could ever imagine and I know that since he is still her father and that she has to have some kind of love for him but I can tell you she does not have any. My dad never treated her well and for that my sister has held this grudge till this very day, I know to many you may think what could my dad have possible done to make my sister hate him so much. I can tell you that what he has done no one would ever be able to understand even me because I lived a completely different life to her. I, for one, was spoilt be my parents and my dad loves me even though I dislike him in some ways but can't not completely as he has been trying his hardest to be on my good side and treats me better than anyone else in the family. My mum seems to hate my dad as well but it is weird usually when you parents hate each other they would get a divorce and why aren't they divorced and I am not sure myself. Maybe they are not bother or they still have some kind of feeling for each other but won't show it at all and I would not exactly wish for that to happen but then again sometimes I do for the sake that I don't have to bear the pain of their arguments. I wish for a happy family or at least a family where I can see a little love between my parents or between my dad and my sister, once would be enough. I am just tired of the same old arguments I hear within these walls where the constantly yell at each other which I would take my mum side and say that my dad is not being reasonable but I could never say it. I am a little scared to be on my dad's bad side because wow he can be so scary when he is angry and because I don't want to take sides and hurt my dad's feelings.

I guess I will finish my ranting about how much I am annoyed with the constant arguments I hear between my parents because there is nothing I can do about it but to block it out unless of course it gets really serious and violence may occur which then please pray that I would make it out alive~

(=.=)My family life (TT^TT).

Good Prediction.

Today overall was a great day as so many things had made me feel so happy and jumping with energy. I was able to meet up with Ling today even though at first we were meant to meet up at Strathfield while I wished to meet up at Ashfield as we would be able to spend more time together. For some reason my phone didn't work and therefore Rebecca and DH decided to take control and help me text even though I told them not to. But that was ok because I did meet up with Ling and that was the most important part and the time my happiness reached its peak and everything that happened after it were just extend the time of my happiness. I ended up realising that my mum had changed my sim card to a different company as I had wish to change it and I also somehow texted people without getting charged which I was surprised about. However after my tutoring day I had predicted that I feel that something will happen that would ruin my entire happy mood and I was right though I wished how much that it wasn't. Once again the other past night my parents were arguing a bit but this time a bit more louder. My dad came into my room before he was about to sleep and he have had some alcohol beforehand. He had noticed the heater next to my bed and start yelling at the fact that it would catch on fire even though it was not on and nothing was covering it. However he wouldn't not listen to a word, I say and kept saying I wouldn't understand but if he would just explain to me I would understand. He needs to stop treating me as a little kid because I am not anymore I understand the fact that if a heater is on and is cover it will cause a fire but this heater was had fulfilled none of the criteria listed. All my happiness dropped in one hit while angry and tears flooded across my face, I wasn't even sure why I was so upset about it either, I just felt like crying and yelling. One thought crossed my mind and that was to talk to Ling but he wasn't back yet nor has he ever heard my cry, so I didn't want to let him hear this time. I crossed to my friend DH for some comfort and like always she always turned my frown upside down because had a few minutes of some nice conversation I felt much better. I been thinking though, what would have had happened if I left for Ling's comfort and honestly I did want his comfort just that. . . I knew that he was talking to his friends and I didn't want to take that time away from him as he spends almost everyday talking to me. Oh well, everything is over and I do feel better a bit though part of my sadness still lingers deep within my heart.

Thank You So Much DH for you constant comfort and support during my time of need, You are truly a Great Friend.
Ling, if you read this I do apologise for not telling you but, I. . . didn't really want to bother you with it and I want to remain a Cheerful and Happy attitude every time you see me, so I can some how make you happy as well. I Love You, Ling.

Happy Dream with Ling

It feels like every night where I have a dream, ling would always pop in no matter if it was for a small part or big, he will always be in my dreams. It was no different this time but he took on a big part causing some happy sadness.

The dream began with me being at home with Ling for a while before he left to go out somewhere and my friends, Rebecca, EW, MV and CG came over. For a while we stay inside the house but for some unknown reason we went out and stood outside the tyre shop near my house. VN appeared and asked me if I knew that Ling  was in the dance room next to the tyre shop (which doesn't actually exist). I had replied that I knew before VN asked if I knew he was talking to a girl and no one else. This I didn't know which also made me feel curious and jealous (>.<). I replied VN "Really, I don't know about that". I was curious to see what the girl looked like and if she was "hot" or not, so we all left towards the dance studio but we entered a shop next door so I can secretly get a peek of the girl and LIng. I noticed a group of boys furtherest away from us then a group of girls on the other corner while Ling and the girl were sitting closest to the dorr. They seem to be enjoying their conversation, I don't remember what the girl had looked like but I am quite sure that she was quite good- looking as I was feeling more and more jealous. As they stood up, Ling had noticed me with a surprised expression however he didn't move or stop talking to the girl more like he was unsure what he should do next. I turned towards my friends and reassuring said "Oh, who cares." even though in actual fact I did care. I rushed out of the store and ran towards my house and halfway there, I heard Ling running behind me which I guessing he was coming to apologise while I just confirmed to him that everything is fine. But I knew very well that I wasn't ok and actually close to tears and him seemed to know it as well as he continued to chase me to my house. I stumbled with me keys once I got to the door allowing time for Ling to catch up but I was hoping that I can get in the house before he was able to which wasn't successful. Once Ling reached me he bear-hugged me and apologised in a soft voice, whispering it in my ear. I couldn't remember what he had said but I knew it was something sweet as I felt an overwhelming happiness and warmth that only a boyfriend can give. The next part of dream was a blur all I remember was being in Ling's arms while he and I hanged out with my friends. The dream had ended with something about facebook where Ling and I had both posted something.

Even though the dream brought a new sort of sadness and jealousy but it had allowed me to experience a wonderful feeling of Happiness and warmth that I never knew existed. I am glad to have this dream even for the down falls of it because with out the fall there could be no rise.

Thank you Ling. I Love you and Miss you as well~~~ (@^.^@)

Friends~~~

Friends are the family we choose for ourselves.

Friends are very important to me as they are the people who stick by me through all the tough times in my life. I love all my friends as they are the ones that share your pain, your smile and all the good and bad times you may experience through life. It is thanks to me friends that made being Happy and Positive so much easier each and every one of my friends have contributed in making my life as bright is it can be.

AS, my first friend in high school, thank you for being my friend all this time even though we have slowly grown apart these years I still appreciate and will always cherish our friendship.

YL, my second friend in high school, I remember you being in every one of my class but I didn't notice you until last day, last lesson of the first week of our first year of high school. But I am glad that I finally noticed you because if I didn't we wouldn't have shared so much great memories together nor made that secret meaning dictionary in year 7. (We haven't used it and made any for so long). We will be friends for a very long time

EW, thanks for being there when I need you and just being my friend. I miss the times we caught the train together but now that you have afternoon Jap classes we can't anymore. I missed you since I haven't seen you this week and won't be able to until next week cause of your work placement. We will have lots to catch up on.

DH, one of my closest friends, thanks for making me smile during the times I am down. Thank you for the lovely conversations of course some maybe boring to others but I still enjoyed it. I can still remember the day I meet you though I was a little too shy to start talking to you but slowly we still became close friends and I still remember when I found out your grandma was the one that my mum meet on Orientation day. Hehe~ Good memories.

SZ, even though you joined our group late you are still an amazing friend. I don't think we talk to each a lot but that is something we must do because you are on of the friends that I do not want to lose in the future. I won't be able to find a friend like you ever again.

CG, you had also joined our group late, but I have gotten so close with you already. You are an amazing and such a intelligent girl, can't believe I am friends with you but I am glad cause you one in a million. You have been there when I need you and been there when I don't which is something I am willing to do for you to and have done once. Thanks for being a great friend and I do have to wish you good luck in your Physics HSC exam this year.

MV, We have been friends for a while but never really that close until this year. I am so grateful to have such a wonderful friend who such a big burst of energy every time I see. I need to learn more about how to be so happy and positive from you even though that is my phrase. We will be friends for a long time and we will be able to develop a close relationship this year and the next so just you wait. We will definitely be Friends Forever.

VN, why did you have to leave so early especially when you join so late. I miss you so much, you wouldn't even believe it. You were such a great friend and I have never bonded with someone in such a short amount of time (actually I have just recently but that is different because you were the first one). We definitely need to catch up with each other soon, I don't want to lose contact with you especially since I gained such a close friendship with you. We will be Friends Forever

AZ, my longest friend I have ever had. Our friendship have lasted over 11 years and we have had our ups and downs or minor little fights we had about what we should play (:P). Thank you AZ for being with me every step of the way and understanding me and my problems. I am sure that our friendship would not end here because it has already lasted this long it has to go even further because I will make it (Hehe~>:-)). But honestly, you have been the greatest, most amazing, longest and the best friend in the whole wide world even if you are younger than me (hmm kind of like a younger sister). WE WILL BE FRIENDS FOREVER, BFF's BBF's, BFFL's. (^.^)

Rebecca, I have so much I want to tell but there isn't enough time or space to tell you. Since the first time we became friends, we have developed a stronger friendship that the world has ever known. You have helped me through the problems I have and I have done the same with you. You would never know how much you mean to me and how many great memories I have just because you were just right next to me. I know sometimes I say I am bored or don't really like to hang out with certain people but being by your side will make up for it. I don't want this friendship to ever break because I can't bear to lose a friend like you because there would never be another person like you in the world. You are the one and only. Trust me I would never allow this friendship to slip away from us because I LOVE YOU. I MISS YOU and YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND. THANK YOU, REBECCA FOR JUST BEING MY BEST FRIEND.

To all my friends, I LOVE YOU~~~ (@^.^@).
Lets be friends
till the very end.

Something from Me to You

I am bored and just thought of writing these poems because I am thinking about you.

.. .... Ling. 

Love is in the air
I found my missing puzzle piece
Not thinking about which is a lie
Giving you my heart for safe keeping
(there is more to this poem but I am going to keep that to myself)

Just for You.

A few things you should Know
I want you to stay beside me
I won't allow you to go
You are the one I want to see

I want you to understand
How much you mean to me
Please keep holding my hand
As you are my key

I feel happy every time I see you
This is what our love can bring
A secret between us two
I'm Missing & Loving You, Ling

I Love You. 

I love you

Little by little everyday

Often can't stop thinking about you

Very happy to be by your side

Everyday is like a dream when I'm with you

You are always on my mind

Obviously, I am missing you

Undeniable love for you

Hope people like these poems and I hope Ling will like them too. 

I'm Thinking, Missing, Loving You

I am a shy girl and don't like to gain much outside attention so I try to not to involve myself in ways that would allow people to gossip about me. But recently I have been thinking, and truth be told I dont really think I care about it as much as I do anymore. Well I kind of still do but why should I keep people from knowing that I have someone that I love and that loves me back. So from now on I won't hide about my relationship with Ling from anyone in school anymore of course there are some things doesn't need to be known by others because it is a couple secret (>v<).

I'm not sure why I am blogging about this but I just feel lost, happy sad, worried and really just lost for words. I start with the depressing things first, well I am. . . actually unsure why I am depressed maybe it is part of my worries which is I think is that I am leaving a bad impression on his friends and I think maybe on his family. I'm really worried that I am because I don't want to leave a bad impression otherwise it. . . I don't really understand why I feel this way. Just believe that I need to because that is what a girlfriend should be able to do, and so far I am not at least I don't think I am.

But one thing I know is that I love Ling, I miss him right now, I am thinking about him even though I am talking with him right now. I hope I can make a better impression next time

I Love You
I Miss You
I Thinking about You, Ling

A Great Start to this New Week~~~

Waking up this morning, half asleep as I continue on with my daily morning school routine. Once I exited my room to brush my teeth my mum was surprise at who early I woke up as I replied to her that I need to get ready to catch my bus until she stopped and said that she was planning to send me to school. I paused for a minute and thought ' YES!! Half an hour more sleeping time~~' so I decided to place my things back down into my room as I planned to sleep. My mum had called me just before I was about to jump on my bed to ask me about what I wanted to sleep so I ended up jumping into her bed as we had a little discussion of what to have for breakfast. I didn't end up sleeping for another half an hour as I only laid in my mums bed thinking about weither or not I should text 'Morning' to Ling as I been thinking that I should start initiating the morning texts that we have. After a few thoughts, I decided to send the texts as I want to be a better girlfriend and I want to initiate more as I am not the one that usually would. My new Goal!~!~!~.

School was normal had classes, did a bit of texting with Ling learn about Trig in Maths, the periodical table in Chemistry, Troy in Ancient and reading Romeo and Juliet in English which was quite boring. One highlight about school today was during lunch when we were talking about the stages of relationship which apparently I am on stage 3 which is the second last stage. From what I learnt from my friends:

First stage is holding hands,
Second stage is kissing,

Third stage involves some touching in certain areas (:P) and 

Fourth stage is. . . well you probably can get the point. 

My friend YL was along on the second stage of her relationship even though they have been dating for a year now while I have been in a relationship for almost 3 weeks now and my relationship has already reach the third stage (>v<). One my friends, KN, had also found out today that I now actually have a boyfriend and DH kept saying that I should owe her a gift as she was the one who introduced us together (by the way thanks DH, (@^.^@). 

After school, MV wanted to go to Strathfield to enjoy some yogurt and take some pictures which I agreed to come along as I texted my mum that I would be late because of Chemistry class (hehe~:P). However I had apparently texted the wrong person and my mum called me three times asking where I was (which I eventually called back a few minutes later). I had also bumped into Ling as he had finished school at 3:10 today instead of his usual monday classes which ends about 3:50. Honestly, deep down inside I really did hope to bump into him cause truth be told I have missed seeing him. Today the trains were all not running on time as some trains were changed to different platforms and the times were getting mixed up. The rest of the afternoon was quite fun, as we all left for Yogoberry and enjoyed some delicious yogurt before arriving in Morning Glory for the usual picture taking. MV and Ling seem to have bond with the topics of anime's such as Pokemon, Naruto and One Piece which I wasn't to interested except for Pokemon. After the joyful afternoon in Strathfield, we all left for the train station as I kissed Ling before we parted with him. MV caught the same bus with me as it goes by her house as well as mine therefore we spent some more time  having an excellent conversation. I asked MV what she had though about Ling and she answers that she approves him especially after she finds out about Ling liking Pokemon as well.

When I reached home, I greeted my mum and my cute little husky as she was waiting at the door for me wagging her tail and jumping around. I settle my self down as I heard from my mum that my dad had thought I was have become rebellious since they left as I left the house without returning back home on time. I can't say he is wrong though since, I did go out and have fun instead of what I said about having chemistry class but you know I am still young I need to enjoy my teenage life as I dont have much of it left. Soon I will be in year 12 and before you know it I will be busying studying some kind of degree in University (which I hope I get into). Even though I need to study hard this year but I need to enjoy my life a little because what is the point of life if we can't have fun right? Well I am going to remain Happy and Positive and enjoy my life as much as I can. 

Thank you MV for suggesting this idea and having so much fun with me.
Thank you Ling for accompanying me with MV on this great afternoon, I Love You. 

The Return of My Parents

My parents had left over a month ago, for a small holiday and to visit our relatives in China. The past month and a bit for me was great as I had so much freedom with no one to tell me what I can and can not do. The down fall of being home without my parents is that I have to take the responsibility of cleaning after myself which is boring as for a teenager you want to spend as much time doing the things you like. Nevertheless it has been an enjoyable month without my parents, including some unexpected surprises in my life, @>v<@.

 It was around 9 something in the morning and I was half awake when I heard a car pull over outside the house. Immediately I jumped up looked outside my window to find one of the long taxi's stopped outside my house before I jumped out of bed got myself dressed and made my way downstairs to help my parents with their luggage. They had 5 suitcases, one bag, 3 shopping bags from the airpot and one laptop bag, for two people that is a lot of things to be carrying. Greeted them as they came home but all my mum really cared about was getting things inside and checking if the house was clean just like she always does. I tried to stay with them as long as I can but I ended up getting really bored as I was mainly ignore as they tried to settle themselves back home therefore I left to brush my teeth and wash my face before starting my school work. A few times while I was working, I left to try and help my mum or that she comes in and distracts me with her non-stop cleaning. But when she did come in, she was happy with me since I was concentrated on my work which she rarely sees me do even though I do study a lot when she isn't around. (maybe not a lot during the holidays :P)

Before lunch, my mum brought over some gifts she was going to give my sister and I from China. I got a bit more than my sister did as my mum was unsure about what my sister actually wanted and she really never asked. For lunch my sister and I decided to walk to KFC since there wasn't anything good to eat at home in the add fact that we were sick of eating the food we have at home. As I was walking to KFC, I remember the last time I was there with my friends when I saw my old crush working there and half wondering if he would be working there today. Once we arrived through the doors of KFC, I looked towards the counter and I realised that this it wasn't my old crush that is working there but the guy who talks to me from time to time on the walk home. In my head, I was thinking ' OMG~~~ How many people I know who works here?' and I noticed that the minute I walked through that door, he had noticed me and started smiling weirdly. I stayed behind my sister hoping to avoid him as much as possible cause for one, I don't really like him that much. My sister and I talked about how she wanted to go out with Ling and I along with her boyfriend, IK, next week and what we should do, slowly we came to the topic of hairstyles. We both want to change our hair which later gave my sister idea of going to a hairdresser before meeting up with Ling and IK. We never really got to finish the conversation nor have I told Ling about the plan my sister wanted to proceed.

Arriving after lunch, my dad wasn't happy about the fact that we went out to eat and not stay home to eat this pancake thing that he had brought home from China. My sister and I slightly ignored him as he complained but as he requested, I did try it out even though I was extremely full from lunch. For the rest of the time after lunch, I have been jumping from my computer towards my mum or my dad or my sister trying to find something interesting to do which I eventually find that sticking with the computer and talking to Ling a bit (even though he is being a good boy by studying) was the most entertaining part. Throughout the day, one thought was always crossing my mind and that was if I should mention about having a boyfriend. I knew I can not tell my dad as his reactions scary but for my mum I wondered if how badly she would have reacted to it, therefore I tried to test it out and ask her if I fell in love with a guy how would she react. My mum answered me with
" This is bad"
" What!? How is this bad?"
" It is bad because you are not going to be able to concentrate on your studies." (>. >) I wondered why I bother even trying, I probably should have guessed. This is what all asian parents would normally think actually that is all they would think about and care about which is our study. (sigh~~~ >. >)

Not long after my parents left to buy groceries and ingredients for dinner, my sister began packing her things to move back to her apartment. I stayed in my room occupying myself unless I was need to help my sister pack anything. By the time my parents arrived home my sisters was ready to take her things and placed them in IK car before driving back to her house, once again leaving the house where I am stuck on until high school. I have mentioned that I never had a normal family life, I actually lived in a family with constant arguments and fight, the down fall of my life. I have never experienced the real warmth of an entire family, never had the feeling of seeing my own parents acting all sweet and cute together. I can imagine that kind of happiness but I could never ever really experience it in real life. A hour after my sister left, I remain on my computer for a while before my dad need me with some letters as he has difficult understanding some of the english. He called me down twice and on the second time, the arguing about missing place some kind of letter began which just brings me back to how miserable I felt when they were last here arguing about the little things. These kind of arguments never gets old they always find away to haunt me and destroy my happiness but there is always only 3 ways I could block them out. One, is to think about my friends; two, is to listen to music of distracted myself with work or watching something; three, is only a new recent method and works pretty well right now which is recalling the memories I have with Ling (@^.^@). After dinner, everything was back to normal as I am always called to help them with something which eventually becomes a bit irritating but what can I do. I am the only one in the house that is fluent in english (even though I fail my english exams >~<) which means when they can't read or understand something they will ask for my help. Oh well, there isn't much I can do about it, I am just happy if I don't hear any arguing and I am not be disturbed while I am busy on my computer to often.

I shall be Happy & Positive because I have great friends and a wonderful boyfriend @^.^@.
LOVE YOU GUYS~~~

Good or Bad Dreams?

Waking up this morning had 3 dreams that I could remember but I don't exactly know what it means. Is it good or is it bad? The last dream of mine I could not remember but I have a strong feeling that is what about Ling and that is was connected to my second dream somehow. The first dream I had wasn't I dream I would have hoped for and I am unsure on how Ling would react after knowing about this dream. It is an arousing dream but it involved an old crush which hopefully would not make him feel jelly (a word Ling uses instead of jealous >v<).

The first dream began with me getting of the bus at the stop near my house, which my old crush also gets off at. Usually we would go opposite directions to our home, however this time he had walked in my direction. I maintained my distant with him as for one I didn't really want to talk to him and two I have no need to talk to him since I do not want to hang out with a guy like him. I turned in to a small miniature road where all the townhouses are lined up in a row and watched my old crush smiling and joking around near the edge of the miniature road where you can look down to see the street. In my head I remember think how immature he had looked as he joked around with one or two of his friends who were on the pavements of the street. For some reason I had walked passed my house and somehow with out even entering my door way, I was already home on my computer like I do everyday with my favourite social network opened. Like everyday, I would be talking to Ling on the social network for hours on end. In the dream, Ling had to get off early then usual just like he had last night and somehow I was outside again leaning on the wall next to the garage where my old crush stood beside me. For some unknown reason he begins to talk to me as we catch up with each just like old friends even though I never really knew him that well in the first place. We had talked about how we were recently as he had told me that a lot of girls are chasing after him. Tome it was a little bit weird of him to mention it but in my head I thought 'Hey, Ling had quite a few girls chasing after him but I ended up beating all of them' this thought brought a smile to my face as I decided to mention about Ling to my old crush. But I was very cautious as he was consider a family friend in a way and I wanted to keep this relationship a secret from my parents for many reasons and the fact that they did not want me to date until I finish high school (Sorry mum and dad, but I am happy ^.^). I remember after telling my old crush to promise not to tell his parents about me gaining a special someone in my life, he didn't have such a pleased look and later disappeared from my dream. Once again I was on my computer still viewing the miniature road in front of my house, I began discussing the events that had just happened to me with Rebecca which leads to the end of the dream.

My second dream was short yet very abnormal to me because it isn't something you would normally dream of. In my dream, I had Rebecca, VN and Ling in it as we sat around in a circle. I sat next Ling and VN as Rebecca was on the opposite side of me. We were about to play a game where our hands where placed above or under another persons hands as we went around hitting our hand onto the person on our left singing some kind of song which I can't recall anymore. I lost the first round and gained a letter which I can't remember either as the second round came it was known the VN lost the round and gain a different letter. However after the second round, there was so kind of disturbance in my dream as VN and Rebecca disappeared while I remained sitting next to Ling. From memory, I woke up slightly from a ring on the home phone which I ignore before returning back to my dream which now is completely blank from memory. All that I know was I was with Ling, it could have been an arousing dream or just one of my normal dreams of me having a normal conversation with him over the social network. Come to think of it, I remember think about how I been having quite a few dreams that involve Ling. Is it Good or bad? In my opinion, I like having Ling in my dreams kind of like having a protector in my dreams or an amulet that protect me from bad dreams, unless of cause it was an arousing dream that would be different.

Do we dream for a reason? Is our dream meant to be telling us something? I do believe that dreams mean something or is trying to tell us something. But what is these dreams about and does it matter. But I don't think anyone will ever know for certain. Nevertheless, there is one thing I do know and that is Ling being my amulet/protector or I could say he is my dream catcher makes since why he is always in them. :P.

Rebecca, thank you for being there in the time of need even though it was in my dream.
Ling, I love you and continue being my amulet/ dream catcher. protector. Thank you for just being. @^.^@

Lady, My sweet, little Siberian Husky

I am an animal lover and I especially love my gorgeous husky who is turning 4 this year, still remembering the first time I saw her cute eyes staring back at me through the glass window of the pet store. My adorable dog, Lady, has two different colour eyes and has silky black, grey and white hair that she sheds twice a year. When we first met, she was such a small and cute little puppy playing with her 2 brothers. 

My father had refused to buy a dog as he hated animals (unlike me >. >) and he didn't like the mess that dogs may leave. Until, one day a thief nearly broke into our house, fortunately for us the bars are strong enough to withhold their attempt. After the fail break in attempt, my father decided to get a security dog to protect our house for any further attempts. I love her, everyday since the day we got her, and she returned us a gift the moment she enter our home ( I guess this is her way of saying thank you for giving her a home). As I put her down on to the ground of the living she wonder around until she found a perfect spot near my piano and done her first business. My mum wasn't very happy about receiving the gift but still pleased enough for having a gorgeous little puppy. Ever since, that day my life has been filled with happiness, even though there may have been a few down falls as our precious little Lady has caused much mischief around the house within these for years. But never the less, I spent four great years with my beautiful husky and hope that there would be many more years to come. 

To Lady, my precious little dog, may you grow stronger each day with as much strength as everyday. I want you to leave a life of happiness alongside me and absorb every happiness you can. I loved you the moment I met you and there would be more to come in our future. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, my sweet little puppy. I LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE. (hope she feels the same way >v<)

Happy 4th or 28th (in dog years) Birthday Lady, My Sweet Little Siberian Husky.