6 days of Ling

I have stopped blogging for a long time and that is cause nowadays there is so much things to do and I have been spending a lot of time with Ling. So I forget to blog every now and again. During HSC, I had to concentrate on study and the only way I could relax was blogging and now I don't have that problem so I started neglecting this blog.

I still wanna blog and I wanna blog about all the depression I have been feeling recently. I don't know what caused it and why but I often have that uncomfortable feeling in my heart. I cried a few times in the past few days. Most of the time I kept it hidden though I couldn't for long as I spend almost 6 days with Ling.

I love spending time with him and I felt extremely lonely when we had to part. Part of me wish that my parents didn't come back from Tasmania or at least gone for a longer time so I could spend more time with him.

You know. Ling and I sort of had a small fight in one of the previous days. It is the first time that he was upset with me and I was upset with him sort of thing. I can't even remember what he did but I got upset and ignored him. I was more hoping he would do his usually thing and hug me or make me feel happy again. But then he was upset that I was ignoring him and he left the house.

*Friends who read this don't tell my parents*

He was sleeping over that night as well so when he walked out of my room he took his bag but not his laptop. So I thought he would come back and so I just stay staying upset but eventually as it always does I lost the feeling of being angry at him. I was worried of where he went and I found out he was sitting outside.

I didn't know what to do and I didn't wanna be the one to make up first just a stubborn part of me. So I went in and out of the house a couple of times feeling really upset. I let Lady out cause she hadn't been out in a while and I though she would keep him company. He still ignored me and I still ignored him.

I though I try to make up. I went behind him and pulled his shirt once but he kept walking down. I wasn't sure if I should do it again. But my heart was beginning to hurt and I couldn't take it. I wanted to run back inside and cry. I walked back feeling hurt and I hide in a corner of the closet in my dads room for a bit.

Ling had came in and found I wasn't in the room. He then went back down and outside again. This time I went back on my bed and buried my head into the pillow wondering what is happening and why it is even happening. I didn't even remember why I was upset in the first place and so why is this still going on. He came back in the room and saw me on the bed but he grabbed his laptop, walked out the room and close the door.

I felt my heart dropped and I started to cry. I couldn't stop it even if I wanted to. I was sitting on the bed crying wondering if I should go out and stop being stubborn. I didn't think to long cause he came back in. I didn't wanna show him I was crying so I hide in the pillow again. He sat on my bed and he told me to look at him. It was hard I didn't wanna show him that I was crying and upset. But I looked anyway, he said before he go he wanted to say something. He seem to struggle a little cause he looked to the side and paused. I waited and thoughts came into my head like if he wanted to break all something.

Finally he said, I Love You. It made me feel relieved hearing it and I also said I loved him too. Though I was probably really quite. He had told me he didn't like being ignored and he could of just left before but he didn't. I was glad he didn't. I really don't know what happened. But I hugged him and stay there until I felt like the tears had gone.

It was the first time this ever happened but then what relationship won't go though this stage at least once. We made up and at first we were a little distance due to it and I had become very quiet but after a while we returned back to normal and made each other forget about it. I hope it won't happen again and if it does I must remember why it happened and if it was all worth it making such deal out of it.