I have been pretty depressed lately. Sometimes I can just cover it up and let things distract other times it just all comes back. But I have such bad sleep and a lot of things trouble me. I feel like I have neglected something very important. I have been so caught up in my own little tornado of emotions that I forget the impact I had on someone that is there for me and will bring back down to the ground safely.
I feel like I am making no sense now, so I get straight to the point. I know Ling has constantly wanted to either sneak out with me at night or go out with me for a few days now and I have been pushing it back cause I just wasn't in the right mood. But I forget how important he is in making me feel so happy, so loved and cared about. Though he said he denies it, but I know I made him upset again. I havent been offensive enough.
Ahh~~~ I just feel so bad. I feel like everything I do is wrong. I feel like I always making people unhappy even though all I want is to make people happy.
I don't know anymore
I really just dont know.
My mind is a mess
My heart is a mess
No part of me is understanding what I am thinking.
What is wrong with me? Everything. I am selfish that is why a lost a friend and that is why I made Ling upset tonight. I. . .
AHHHH >.< All so confusing. I can't take this no more. I need to break out of this depression I need to make the one I love happy and make sure he knows how much I love him.
My head hurts from all this >~<
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