Lost A Friend

Anyone understands the feeling of losing a very good friend. One person I know might but she is the one I have lost. I understand why and I have gained a deeper understand when I asked my mum about her reaction. I just never expected that someone would give up a friendship just like that and I thought that she would be one of those people who would fight to hold on to a friendship.

Maybe she doesn't care about our friendship anymore and maybe she doesn't want a friend like me anymore which makes more sense knowing that she hasn't changed and she is the type to fight for a friend that is worth it and obviously means I am not which I have to accept whether I like it or not.

To be honest, I never cried when I lost a friend or I know there is someone I may never contact again. But this time I did cause I felt I was very close with her. She knew things about me that not a lot of people knows and I knew things that she hadn't told a lot of people herself. We seemed so close to me and after one mistake everything end just like that. It isn't something I expected.

I was a little annoyed finding out why I couldn't contact her because I wished she told me herself and as early as possible and not let it drag until now. I am upset that I thought that this friendship was more than it was. Now because I thought this way, it has made me hurt even more than it would have. I have given up and maybe I should persist more to keep what we have. But I don't want to keep a friendship when the opposite thinks otherwise.

I say my final goodbyes, I will let out my last tears for the end of what I thought was a good friendship at least for a while. I guess not everyone can forgive and forget or maybe this was something to big for people to forgive and forget. Oh well Farewell Onee-san.