Too Naive

I feel stupid. Why? Stupid in believing that some friendship would last forever. I have been so upset about this one thing that has been bothering me for over a month and yet that person doesn't even seem to care. Maybe I am wrong but I feel like I am treated as if I did something absolutely horrible and I deserved to feel so depressed.

I now have a mixture of feelings about this. Part of me still depressed and if I think to deeply about it or even talk to someone about it I feel like tears will fall. The other part no one knows about is being angry. Angry at the fact that I cared more about the friendship that the opposing side. I am angry that after how many years of caring, worrying and things I tried to help was all for nothing. All for me to be ignored and not even given a proper farewell or have the person tell me themselves that they won't or can't be friends with me.

After everything we have been through do I not at least deserve that much, one simple goodbye. Obviously not. Obviously what I did was worse then backstabbing them or saying bad things about them or doing something that would make them lives feel miserable. I had a thought of making that person feel guilty or unhappy just like they have done to me. But I couldn't, cause I still care and I still want to hold on to my promises. I could never do something bad to someone I care about. I could forgive and forget so easily but I realised that to some people it is like the hardest thing to do.

Why am I like that? I feel like I would always be taken advantage with this attitude never fighting back. Never hurt anyone that has hurt me. People would think I am easy to be treated like nothing. Easily used and then thrown away.

I guess this friendship truly meant more to me then it had to them. All the effort was to nothing, it all just ends up into a dead end. I could have used those effort on other friend who wouldn't have cause me some much sadness and cared for her more so I wouldn't have hurt so much now. I guess this is how things must end.