Awkward Meetings

Yesterday, I saw 4 of my primary school friends? Not sure I should call them friends now cause it is sort of awkward meeting them. One of them was my closest friend in primary and I was friends one other friend on the table the other two I know but not familiar with.

When I first walk past them I was going to get ancient books and I saw them all on a table. All eyes turn to me and I just sort of walked by cause at first I didn't realise and I am not sure how to approach them. I walked past again to get back to my friends. Throughout the day I had walk past them so many times and the worst time was when I realised I booked a room that was directly in front of them. I felt their eyes watching me as I walked in and whenever we were inside the room messing around I feel like they were watching. I knew they were talking about me and they were not at being very discreet about it.

I don't know what they really think of me now and I probably shouldn't care but I am just so curious. Is it bad? Is it good? I don't know. I only became close to my school friends in year 6 which was a good year and I though I will never find good friends like them again. I was completely wrong.

Looking back in my primary school life. . . I wasn't a very popular girl in fact more like a social outcast. I tried to fit in most of the time but I don't think I ever really did. Instead I felt more closer with family friends during that time.

What happened in primary? I guess to some people it is not that bad. I mean I had friends some times and I didn't get bullied but I when I think back it was probably worst year in my schooling life.

Over view of my life:
- Kindergarten: friends with 2 girls and I remember they prefer each other than me. That time my sister joked no one likes me and I started to believe that at the time.
- Year 1: can't remember how I was friends with but I do remember my old crush confessed he liked me.
- Year 2: back with the 2 girls I was friends with in kindergarten.
- Year 3: Meet a new friends one included the one I was very close with during year 6
- Year 4: Hanged out with 3 other girls how at the end all hated me cause they thought I was racist and I was but I never knew the meaning of it during that time. I remember my sister said I was not but they thought I was. I got rejected by them and I remember they were not very good girls sort of like rebels getting into a bit of trouble a lot. End of year 4 I hanged out with girls 2 years younger than me cause no one in my year seem to wanna include me anyway.
- Year 5: Started being friends with a girl everyone avoided cause they thought she had lice and then become friends with another 2 friends. By the end a fight occur between the 2 girls and I was comforting one and accidentally let out the fact that the other girl never liked me. She apologised and I was like no it is fine and continued to comfort her. (In fact saw them here the other day not sure they still recognise me or not and one of them is here at the lib as well.)  I ended up leaving that group of friends and joining the girls I met in year 3 and a few other friends I met before.
- Year 6: Like I said was my best year of primary cause I finally got a long with people in my year and had an enjoyable last year reason of making me not wanna leave.

- Year 7 - 12: Best Years of my life. Meet the best people in the world and become super close with them. Friends that are very special to me.

So now, You know my life story in short. Haha, I shouldn't even be blogging this but I can't concentrate on my work. I so exhausted and my mum won't let me sleep in. =.= Oh well back to study I guess.