You know when your bored, your mind starts to wonder about anything and everything? Well, I am feeling that way and when my mind starts wondering it would also lead me to thinking to much and worrying over nothing which comes to think of it mean I am always bored because I always worry. Interesting didn't notice this before. Anyway, so I have been really bored late especially since my internet is starting slow down and everything I am trying to watch to distracted myself is loading SO slowly that it is irritating.
I was just thinking though how much I missed being with my friends at this moment even though I am seeing them tomorrow which I would blog about when I get home tomorrow night. It would be a very interesting night. I starting to miss everything that I use to spend my days with like all the good drama watching talking to my friends and also talking to Ling. But today, no one seems to want to talk or they are just busy and I dont want to disturb them. I'm just a little depressed which happens when I think to much and I don't want to bother anyone else because it isn't a big deal as well as just making other people worry which seems like what I am doing now. Haha. . . but I am just trying to past sometime as I wait for the videos to load and need to express some of my depression because you know "If you keep things in you will get internal injury" this chinese phrase I translated which I don't know if I translate it correctly but anyway. Nothing really to say I guess just that I am Missing everyone and everything that would usually make me happy and thinking about them doesn't seem to work all i want to do is. . . I dont even know. What can I do to cheer up that won't bother friends and keep me from thinking to much?
Oh reminds me I found out one thing that really annoys me and it is a bad quality of mine. I would change and come to think of it, I am finding more and more bad qualities that I have physically and mentally. Starting to realised that I am not as good as I thought I am and that even though I try not to be this someone I hate, I end still like that. I don't want to gossip or tell things I am not meant to. I don't want to be a pushover which I can be at times. I don't want to be slow. I dont want to be an open book. I don't want to be someone that is not trustworthy which I think many people thinks that. Maybe I am over thinking but somethings are true and I know it even though some people tell me that I am not. I just think so and I hate it. Geez I am putting myself down which isn't what I am meant to be doing. I am meant to be happy and positive but now it is so hard to do. Sigh. Never mind. I guess I go back trying to distract myself before I think about more bad qualities or just me thinking too much
Bye-bees
P.S This post was meant to be posted yesterday but something happened with it when I was trying to publish it.
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