BLOWN UP~~~

As night came my mood has remained feeling damp but I just let it be and distracted myself. My mum and I ate dinner but my dad didn't want to eat for some unknown reason. As dinner had finished, I decided to go shower before jumping back onto my computer for some procrastination. I was not able to shower in peace as my parents start arguing again and I just couldn't take especially since I was already feeling so annoyed. I slowly began to break down but not completely, the finally straw that lead me to completely go mad was my dad dragging me out halfway through my shower (not literally) and making me go buy KFC with my mum. I start break down in the bathroom for a bit but I held myself together however after going out and coming back home my parents start yelling. I couldn't take it, I told them to stop yelling but there was no change. They wouldn't listen to me after I constantly ask them to stop yelling and just to stay away from each other. I screamed before my dad told me to stop being annoying, my mind just completely went blank and I told them that I am not the one being annoying it is them with their constant arguing. I can only take in so much. However no matter what I did, nothing seems to stop them. I left for my room, still hearing the arguments even though it is quieter. I was shaking so much. Crying non-stop. I had completely lost myself in tears of anger and pain. To add on to my misery I realised my stomach started to hurt which grew until I was rolling on the floor in pain. Though I was already sitting on the floor crying in the first place anyway. I finished my shower and came back to my computer in seek of comfort but really by then my shower washed off all the mess that was going through my head. I felt calmer and more peaceful however still depressed and a little emo. I ended up finding comfort from a dear friend of mine D.H even though I was happy it wasn't the comfort I hoped to find, I wanted it from someone I haven't spoken for over a day. It seems I won't be hearing from him in the time I need him the most I understand why but just a little. . . makes no difference I feel depressed in the first place and very emo.

I now understand why some people when they are angry would lose their apetite. I never knew how much anger and pain my family can bring until now. I never knew how hard I could cry that it would even bring pain to my stomach and for a moment to my heart. But the past is the past. I need to let go and I will hopefully return to normal but life looks so dull from here. I will brighten up for 2morrow. 

Bye-bees