I'm struggling. So much pain. So much. . .
Today I've been waiting. Every buzz my hearts starts pounding out of my chest but I end in disappoint and sadness. As the day progress I find it hard and hard to breathe and I could feel my heart tighten like someone is tugging it. This feeling is very uncomfortable. As night comes closer my hearts get tight my breath gets short and I can feel me losing myself again.
Don't wanna feel this anymore. I wanna cry but been holding it back all day. I been faking a smile all day but it just makes my heart and my mind feel worst. I wanna let it out but I can't I'm suffocating so much. I don't want people to get a bad on the person I love but. I need relief and blogging is where I release all my emotions and anxieties. can't keep them in cause I feel like they are eating me alive.
I actually didn't get in much sleep last night and being anxious all day so I am exhausted and honestly I wanna be able to get some sleep cause that way I might have sweet dreams then spend time in realities torture. Sigh. . . I'm just gonna try finish up my game tonight and just sleep tomorrow would sort out itself. . . Good or Bad, I'm just have to fast it. . .
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