Run Away

Wednesday Night, my dad dragged my mum and out to walk the dog but he said that he didn't want to and wanted to sleep on the car. The reason because he had brought home a long taxi from work and wanted to use it for its' space as it can fit the dogs.

Anyway, I was pissed cause one I didn't want to go out and walk nor did anyone else but no he just had to make everyone unhappy. So in the end we left the house to walk the dog. I walked Lady and walked as fast as possible away from my dad as much as possible. My dad said I look pretty walking the dog and so forth but to me I was thought whatever I want to stay away from you.

I continued to walk away from my dad and I did begin running and it felt so good while I was running and the further away I was from my dad the happier I got. I know this sounds harsh to many and I am so cruel for something he did that wasn't even such a big deal. But I don't know the feeling of running away felt good even though running away from a problem is never the answer. I felt like I was running away from a horrible dream or horrible place or some place I just don't want to be at and the further away I was the safer and happier I felt.

I understand that this is such a small thing to get angry about and such a stupid reason to be pissed and fuss about. However, I do fuss about these things but only cause I can. The big things, I fear that something bad will come over which I don't want to name examples. I probably should make a new year resolution and say try and get a close bond with my dad. But I have no reason too.

To me I feel like he is trying to be nice and stay close to me is cause he has no one else. To me, he is selfish and only wants me there for his own reason and makes reason that sounds good for me but underneath it all he gets something in return. To me, he is a hypocrite and very, very, very self-centred. To me, my dad is the worst man alive. Alright I know, these words are harsh and cruel and something I should not even ever say. But honestly, no one in the world sees what I see. My sister and my mum would all agree to everything I have said above.

Sigh, I am sorry for being harsh but honestly I want to run away. I want to run away from this horrid place. I want to feel safe in my own home. I want to feel protect and secure inside my own house. I don't want to feel like I want to stay as for away as I can to a place that meant to bring all the joy in the world.

One day, I will make my own family where I can find everything I have been looking for. One day, I will find the right guy, that knows how to treat a woman and gives me the security and protect I have longed for. One day, I can finally stop running.