Black Hole

Warning to my friends: 

Don't read if you can't take it. 

Don't read it cause it may hurt. 

Don't read it cause it may worry you. 

Don't read it if you plan to talk to me about it. 

If you decided to read it don't tell me or mention anything about what I may say.

Down and down, I fall. Heart beating steadily. Seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks past. . . I don't know. What would catch me when this ends? Would it be a web, where a spider would catch me as it dinner? Or would it be a warmth of a love one, protecting me from harms way. When would this black hole come to an end? 

Alright some things happened which I won't mention. Some things said but I won't say. But what I am left with is emptiness. I don't understand but do I want to? You know I felt like falling in a hole waiting for the end to come hoping for safety but will that come who knows. 

I know most of what I said doesn't really make sense. But I was in a very down mood when I typed this. I feel like some friend would see this and in a way I don't want them to. But I don't want to hide my feelings in my secret blog anymore. I am tired of hiding it. I want to express as openly as I can. But you know what there is somethings I left unsaid cause I can't do it. I can't tell cause I know what it would lead. I know what it would cause. I just can't let it happen. So, I will hide this feeling again. I will bury it deep within my heart somewhere no one would find including me. 

(You know the one person I wanted to notice but they didn't seem to notice. I don't want to tell but I wanted the person to found out on their own sense. This one person was the comfort I wanted at the moment. But then again what good will come out of it. Do I really want to explain it? Somehow I don't think that person would comfort me well enough, I just need their hug I suppose. . . ) 

Btw, I realised that one thing I wanted to type and decided not to type was related to my warning but since I didn't type it the warning that it might hurt wouldn't really fit. But oh well I left it there, just in case.