Anger Doesn't Stay Long

Why??? I am being stubborn again. I am no longer angry but I don't want to act like nothing happened. That is what I always do. If I get angry, I wait a little bit and I cool off and then I am all better. My anger doesn't last long, it never does and that I guess is the good part but. . .

Sigh, Ling made me feel sort of angry today and I guess it was sort of a stupid thing to be upset about and actually I don't remember why I am upset but even so. . . You know when I was sort of angry, Ling didn't make me feel better but worse cause the things he joked about just seemed to make it worse. Especially the mention of another girls name. At a time like that another girls name just really bothered me. I was angry to the point that I felt a rush of emotion that nearly brought tears to my eyes but I calmed myself down. 

I admit it that it was not necessary for me to get that angry and I admit that what I was angry about was probably very stupid but either way. Why did he have to make it worse? Why can't. . . I don't even know what I am really wanting from him. I was just so angry but it would have been so easy to turn my emotions around. Cause honestly I don't get angry for that long and I have already forgotten why I was angry. I would be stubborn though so just cheering me up. It is all I need to forgive and forget. 

TT^TT Feeling so messed up. I don't know what to feel. Sort of angry at myself for being angry. Sort of angry at him for doing something nice and sweet to help me forgive and forget. Sort of angry at myself for being so stubborn. Angry at a lot of things that right now isn't relevant to Ling. I am just at the point I can't express myself. I feel angry but then I don't. 

Another thing, I keep thinking of him. Why? Because I really love him. Just do something nice already that all. Maybe I should just forget about it. Let it go. Cause it was stupid. Just let this go like I always do. But then I worry that in the future people would think that you could make me angry in whatever way they want and I won't do anything to retaliate. Then again, that would reduce conflicts growing bigger and bigger until it is something you can't control. (>~<) Maybe I will just let it be, just make me angry cause I won't do anything. Everyone just take advantage of that. Not many people in the world could just forgive and forget that easily. But I really hope people don't. Don't want to be taken advantage of. (Hope that sentence made sense. Hope this whole post made sense, I just ranted out everything that was on my mind.)