Sigh~

Something has been messing with my head ever since thursday, I feel like I can't get anything right, I do the most stupidest things. For example, thursday night after dinner I was meant to through something in the bin and place my bowl and chopsticks in the sink however I ended up dropping my chopsticks in the bin. (=.=) I mean seriously what was I thinking though the minute I dropped it in I realised what I have done and I gave myself a good laugh which I believe my mum might think I was a little bit crazy. 

Besides that I have done so much little mistakes that I normally won't make or that I am just not thinking. Other than feeling stupid and not using my brain, since yesterday I have been feeling quite down and I am not ever quite sure what is the reason I know what started it but I know that I was over it but my mood just didn't lighten up I just couldn't find it in myself to smile. 

It is just weird. 

The minute I am alone my mood drops immediately like on the peak of a roller-coaster. I don't think I want to be alone however I don't want to go on skype and face my friends and depressed them which come to think typing on this would let them know anyway. I want to be alone and just take a break of skype though I know my friends would be suspicious as I am always 24/7 on skype (sigh =.=). 

There is another part of my wanting to go on skype cause being with my friends and talking to them just makes me so happy even though I might sound a little dull, I am just happy that they are there making me smile and laugh and basically listening to me when I need them. 

Now the decision is going on or not. If I want to just sulk by myself for today or go on and talk to my friends and brighten my mood. But honestly I feel selfish always leaning on my friends, they do so much for me and I feel like I do so little. I know some of my friends would think otherwise but to me, this is what I feel and I want to do more though they seem to think I do enough. 

I want to be able to hide my feelings therefore meaning less worries for everybody around me. I want to be able to remain happy and positive and smile so that I will be able to lighten everybody's mood knowing that they are happy.

Hmmm... I didn't think I would type this much. oh well (>~<). I just wonder whether I should go on or not. 

Go On. . .

Don't Go On. . .

Go On. . .

Don't Go On. . .

Go On. . .

Don't Go On. . .

Go On. . .

Don't Go On. . .

Go On. . .

Don't Go On. . .

??? 

Alright I decided, I shall not make my friends worry. I am going to go clear my head go on and pretend that nothing has happened. So please if anyone I know reads this try to not ask and let it pass for now unless I decide to be selfish again and start ranting which I shall persist to not do. ^.^ I must be strong. I will improve myself.  So Don't Worry, Be Happy and I shall be TOO~ (new motto for me)