I know usually i post about how much i dislike my dad for all the things his done to everyone else in my family. But i feel guilty recently for being so cold and distant with him. I see him trying so hard to win my affection but what he has done in the past will alwayd be drilled inside my brain. My view of him cant be changed so easily.
But i have to say, i wanna try be a little less cold against and try stop myself from avoiding him too much. He is nice to me and today he did something made me feel. . . Touched and guilty at the same time. Apparently he ran up and down the train station just to give me 2 cakes he brought just so that he could give it to me before my train came. Unfortunately the train i told him i was catching wasnt the one i was actually catching. I was going in the other direction.
Sigh I've been feeling bad today about my relationship with my dad. I wanna change it even though i still see him likei used to but he is nice to me either for selfish reason or not. Regardless of that, he has treated me ok and i need to change my attitude towards him a bit. I think. . .
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