Arrived in Seoul

I am finally here. The long waited trip has finally arrived. It was definitely a long, boring and tiring trip. But we are here. The plane food was surprisingly ok though I didn't finish everything.

After the flight, we travelled to our hotel sagely and didnt get lost. We got our room and unpacked ready to go out to find what was around us. To be honest, some places looked sort of dodgey or maybe it was just the result of the night.

We ended up buying ramen for a convenience store and made it at the hotel. We spent the rest of the night at the hotel. We also watched tv like Mnet. It was a great night so far hope 2mr would be equally as fun or even better.

Year 12 Formal

A night to be remembered. It was definitely a great day for me and I would never forget this experience.Wednesday night was the long anticipated formal day of course their where some things that did not go according to plan however it was still a good day. 

During the morning I stayed with Ling to go get the corsage and boutonniere which was a beautiful pink flower which in fact my favourite flower is pink of course not the same type of flower but it was still really pretty. 

Corsage

After Ling decided to book a room at a hotel so that we could stay in and it was pretty close to home. I was wondering whether I should tell my mum or should I just do what I always did and sneak out of the house. Instead I decided to not go home and my mum tried to cover up that I wasn't home that night from my dad and I think we were successful. I also had told my mum that I went out with a group of friends and not Ling cause otherwise or hell would have broke lose. 

Anyway the place was Beautiful and It was near the water though I wish I took a picture of the scenary there. At night the trees had a glow to them it was a really beautiful place to be. Instead was beautiful though the meals may look pretty nice didn't taste all that great but it was alright. The desert though was really nice and enjoyed it 

Entree:

Choices of Main:

Desert:

The rest of the night consist of dancing however cause I had dress problems I did not dance a lot till the end where I thought screw it and I danced. But I constantly had to pull my dress up in case my bra would show. Ling on the other hand, even though he said he doesn't know how to dance was dancing like he was an expert and didn't stop. He did take short breaks from time to time. It was definitely fun especially watching Ling dance, scaring people and just mucking around.

At the end of the night Ling had sent, Y.L, Y.L's bf and S.Z home before we travelled to the hotel to rest for the night. The next morning he sent me home to change before going out again to have lunch, we spent a lot of time a whole day together before my korea trip and I would really miss him during those 3 weeks away from him. To be honest, I already miss him showing how much this guy means to me. I don't know how I could love someone like this and part of me really hope or relationship would last forever. Is it possible? I really hope so. I must admit, he has his annoying features and a lot of them to but he makes it up with his sweet side which I he has only shown to me (hopefully).

I LOVE THIS DAY A LOT AND I LOVE LING. ^.^

Recent Events

Last week, I have been busy either just enjoying some time at home with games or going out. I had gone with D.H to shop around for some formal things as well as exchanging money for our korea trip that begins this Friday. I had also gone out with Beautiful and Ling on a Saturday afternoon which was really fun.

That day we had gone to ice-skating where Beautiful and I still remember how to skate from the good old days of school sport. As for Ling he had never ice-skated before and spent all most of his time skating around the wall but as time went by he gradually improved. He did fall a few times and I remember this one time he fell and flipped from his back onto his stomach sort of like a fish out of water. Pretty fun sight :P

I also fell once during ice-skating where Beautiful came to me and was hugging me from behind.and I was stable on my feet and therefore fell. After ice-skating, We ended up picking Shirley up to go watch a movie in Auburn before hanging around a RSL club. Beautiful order a drink and sort of got drunk. On the way home we stop by Yuki's house to say hello.

The day after, I went out with my family friends to watch a movie and go karaoke after. One of my friends wanted to come but in the end she decided not to. The movie was ok never really been a big fan of the mockingjay and to be honest I think I like the first movie the best more action I think. Karaoke was fun as well but I noticed that A.Z and R.Z are so quiet when they sing and unlike my other friends who scream into the mic and makes everything go deaf. But either way it was pretty fun. I had a great week other than the depressing mood that pops up from time to time.

Everything is Clear

I know understand why I have been upset recently, it was because I was getting my old friend and normally I get more upset during this time. I come to noticed that I get upset more easily this time and I love to pretend that I have mood swings just for the fun of seeing people's reaction especially from Ling. I hope friend who read this won't go telling him cause I prefer to keep pretending cause I like the attention I get from here.

I guess I have been feeling more upset recently is that I feel that Ling doesn't see the effort I put in to spend time with him. I am willing to play a game that I don't really like so I can play with him and have fun with him but I found out yesterday that there is a random other girl he meet over the game and he said it was his gaming girl-friend. I know he knows I am jealous person but I don't think he sees how much that really upset me especially during this emotional period I would be going through.

I not sure he noticed but it doesn't feel like he did. He was also meant to come over this morning but then he didn't. My assumption (could be wrong) was that he had been playing all night like always and didn't get enough sleep and decided not to come. I am was very upset about it and the increase in hormonal activity further my depression to the point I cried but no one knows this since I was alone at home and I never told anyone yet. I feel like I wasted my effort in doing so but I couldn't control it at that time.

I am not really upset about it anymore nor angry but I am a bit stubborn and want to give him the cold shoulder. However with the formal tomorrow, I feel like I would just be making a night that was meant to be fun into something I would hate forever. I decided not to let L:ing know how much sadness I felt a part of me really doesn't want to but I am. So much he doesn't understand and he never will.

Or maybe it is just the hormones that are running while making me act like this. I don't know I just feel depressed right now and not really in the mood to talk to Ling nor anyone else about this matter. So I am gonna drop it like every other time I have done before.

Depression Seeking Through

I should be happy and excited cause I have the formal to go to and after the korea trip and I should be excited. Part of me is feeling all that but there is just a few things that are in the way of fully expressing it. I cried yesterday. I haven't cried for a while now and I did. No one knows exactly what happened but only D.H knows that I have. She didn't have to ask she could tell.

Though at first she wasn't helpful in cheering me up and makes sense when I made her wait for 45 mins. I have been feeling depressed lately with all the stuff that has going on. My dad being the annoying asshole he always have been. Nagging to have someone accompany him and never gives anyone a freaken choice. Then there is the parents complaining about the cost of Korea.

Just can't see to be very happy but deep down behind alll these other things that are going around, I am excited for formal and Korea trip. I can't wait for all the fun I shall have ^.^

Need to Update

I haven't blogged in a long time and I should update what has been going on with me lately. Well I really don't have to but now that I am relaxing a bit, so why not. But it is gonna be quick cause I am so tired and also can't really think properly. I also not feeling to well cause my head feels sort of heavy.

So anyway, last Mon I went with Beautiful and Ling to go bike riding. This time we all had our own bike to ride and Beautiful kept bumping into something on the side and hurt herself a lot. After 2 hrs of bike riding, we had time left so we went to watch a movie before Ling and sent us home. So that was a fun mon and I enjoyed myself.

Tuesday I remember hanging out with Ling but not for too long cause we decided to go home early and that way I could go out later the next day.

On Wed, that was a good day. I hanged out with Beautiful, S.Z and Ling to Karaoke, drank and just played around in the city. In the morning I meet with Ling who had came over to my house and my mum caught him in the house. She thought we had done something bad and kept questioning me about it but I just told her no nothing happened he just came to pick me up.

During Karaoke, we had alcohol both Beautiful and S.Z had order to drinks while Ling had none. I had one and I don't think I was drunk but I was depressed a bit for some odd reason. I actually cried in the karaoke room but no one noticed and sort of a good thing cause I wouldn't know how to explain it. I was clingy after drinking and pretty quite but I knew what I was doing and everything else seemed fine. So I am not too sure.

The rest of the night of wed was really fun we had a cheap dinner at McDonald's, Beautiful had got something from KFC. We sat there talking for a while before going to the park and playing around and I got dizzy and really wanted to vomit. WE stay till about 9 before we decided to go home.

Thursday, Beautiful, Ling and I went to S.Z work place to eat and then pick her up. The food there was pretty nice but I still believe the ones in flemington is much better. After we picked S.Z when she finished her work we traveled to Burwood for some shopping around and Ling needed to pick up a game he had pre-ordered.  Ling and I left Beautiful and S.Z at burwood as both of us needed to get home.

Friday was another boring day where I was stuck with my dad just like today one of the worst days ever. Sat, my mum and sister went to bankstown to have yumcha and shopped around this time I finally brought my formal shoes.

Sunday, I had family friends over and R.Z came mainly to get some formal dresses. But we hanged out for the entire day and had lots of fun just like we used to. I enjoy the feeling, I think we need to go out and hang out one day it would be fun.

That is roughly what happened over this week. I got so much little problems I wanna get out but I can't be bother typing it all out right now. Things include Korea trip, not be able to contact onee-san cause she is so damn busy, my dad being so freaken annoying that I honestly wanna just rage at him and I don't even care if I get hit cause I know if I did then I will. I think that is a good idea get hit and go and call the police and then I am able to just move out and not have anything to do with him. I wish I could get him out of my life. Even though I know how much he does care for me and love me, I just can't stand him. I don't know how to be around him. I just can't be with someone as selfish and hypocritical and just the worst person I could ever know. Honestly, sigh went over board with complaints about my dad.

Alright I will end this hear for today I might complain more about my problems on another post tomorrow.

Protect Me

Another weird dream I had was that I had this random tutor that kept touching me in a sort of flirty way. I really didn't like it so I told my mum to stop asking him to tutor me. He walked off and somehow changed from an old man into a really young gangster looking person.

I was pretty scared cause I had the feeling he was trying to find me and get me. I then recieved a call from a lady who wanted to meet me and explain something which was related to him. I had the feeling the girl was a friend of his and helping him i  getting me to him.

That time I was with Ling, Beautiful and S.Z and I ask them if they could walk me home since I was worried he will be there. They already seemed to planned to take me home.

I had already invited them in the house and my mum was trying to look the door but couldn't. I noticed the guy come towards the front door and freaked out and called for Ling as I tried to get near him. Ling had moved towards the tutor guy and gave him money so that he could leave there was about $200 that he gave. Beautiful and I said it was too much and took it back. Tutor was about to grab on to Beautiful but Ling moved her away while was in close distant and therefore the tut grabbed hold of my elbow.

Ling after moving Beautiful away started to fight with tut guy and moved me away from him. I couldn't really tell if he was winning cause Beautiful had jumped on Ling to move him away from the tut guy as while she had tried to push me away from all the action.

But somehow he disappear, changed into a wolf and grabbed this doll looking thing and shaking it. It mind told me that it was me. The wolf threw the doll resembling me across the floor and ran off. Apparently I was hurt but not killed.

Another part I remember is that I tried to hit the tut guy down there cause I wanted him to get away from me but I could never do it. Until the very end I had a mic in my hand I used it and hit him down there during the time Ling was fighting him.

It was weird and sort of frightening dream. Not sure why I had 2 frightening dreams last night. >~<

Blood, Blood Everywhere

I had a dream last night that really scared. All I remember seeing eas blood lots and lots of blood.  I was somehow had blood flowing out of my mouth and nose. I was washing it away and lying on my bed. I noticed Ling running to me not caring who knows our relationship just so if can be with me. It was sweet. Not sure what happened after.

Another part of the dream I saw a hospital. Someone was bleeding on the leg and she had cut her own leg to see that there is something wrong with it. I also later saw blood everywhere around the hospital. I found there was a monster that was finding someone to take revenge.  He was a human but had not eyes or mouth just a nose. I saw him roaming around using his nose to smell the blood of the person he was looking for. I was able to end the dream before anything bad happened.

I was freaked out and talk to Ling for a while cause he was still awake. I was still on a skype call throughout the whole night until about 6 when the call dropped. But it was a scary dream >~<

Shopping

Today, I planned to go out cause I really didn't wanna be stuck at home with my dad again. He is honestly just to annoying to spend time with. So, in the morning I went with M.V to townhall and shopped for tops and shoes. I wasn't able to find an shoes I liked but I did try on a dress which looked nice but I didn't buy it cause it was expensive.

We got tired from walking especially since we both were in high heels so we decided to go to chatime near the train station to wait for D.H. She too had high heels on so by the end of the day all three of us where just complete tired and walked like old grandmas it was just. . . =.=

Anyway, the entire day we shopped for M.V's tops, D.H's formal dress and my shoes. We found a lot of different kinds of dresses and we got D.H to try some one and show us. There were a couple I really think suited D.H and it was really pretty on her. During shopping for formal, I had saw my old best friend in primary school, it seems she is also getting ready for her formal as well.

We had found a couple of tops for M.V and I had found a dress I really liked but wasn't sure whether I should get it or not. In the end, I gave up on my struggle and decided to spend that money and now I need to add money to my account cause it is lower then the amount I am meant to spend. The dress is pretty and I really like it.

Tiredness and soreness in our feet took over us and we spent the remainder of our time in Myer looking at suitcases and seating of sofas. As the time drew near we travelled back to the train station and along the way brought some ice-cream to eat.

I am so tired and exhausted and I need to rest up to be able to wake up early tomorrow so I can go out and get my hair done. Hehe, can't wait. ^.^

Beach, Beach, Beach

A lovely day for the beach. . . To me a little cold for the beach and I was right it was freezing. . . well not freezing but it was cold. However, I still had fun and enjoy the company of my friends. We started at Bondi and looked for food while we waited for Onee-san which took about 20 mins. I had about 2 sushi and gave the third to D.H and to be honest I was still hungry but I decided not to spend so much money that time.

We later met up with Onee-san and travelled all the way to the beach which was pretty windy and I knew when I get in the water it would be freezing yet I still went in. It was fun just playing around with Beautiful and Onee-san. I also kept moving the sand that flew towards D.H, Y.L, S.Z, Beautiful and Onee-san but. . . hehe. . . It was an accident >~<

The Beach event was enjoyable but tiring. Everyone was getting hungry and coincidently all craving for steak so we went out in search for a cheap steak place. After a lot of travelling we finally arrived at the Star Bar and everyone one was tired of walking. Y.L during that time had her BF with her and later decided to go and enjoy there own time together and left us.

The rest of the night was a little wild. Why? Everyone was drunk. . . well not fully drunk. I think Onee-san got drunk and Beautiful was really tipsy but close to being drunk while shirley was just tipsy. As for me. . . him not sure I think, I was a little tipsy because I was laughing with everyone at the time but only for a few minutes after that I became very aware that we were very loud and that everyone had just gone crazy except D.H. D.H was not at the right age to drink yet so therefore it was just me and her watching the group go weird and hyper.

All good it was fun to watch. Anyway, we stayed for karaoke but I had to leave after an hour cause I had to be home but I did find out later that I could stay later if I have called my dad and asked him but I rather not ask him. I don't exactly like calling my dad.

Overall it was a fun day but I think next time maybe we should watch out on the alcohol especially Beautiful and Onee-san I don't believe they take alcohol that well, if they are not drunk then they are tipsy all high and crazy. As for me I still wanna try some but still everything I have tried I will never finish cause all alcohol taste disgusting. I honestly hate the taste trying to find one that I like, so far one is alright.

HSC is Officially Over

Today, every HSC student is free of HSC and is able to go out and enjoy there life free from all the study and preparation they have made. For me, I finish a lot earlier than most but that is fine cause I got a lot of time to spare. Recently I have been out with Ling for 2 days straight and we have spent so much time together and in fact I am pretty happy.

I know before I was feeling depressed for not being able to hang out with him cause his attention will be everywhere else but then again that means I get to put more attention into my own little world. I haven't been able to watch drama as freely as I have been before and I haven't been able to plan to go out with friends and enjoy being with them. So there is a lot of things I have to do before my korea trip and I will have a lot of time to do these things.

I also had a really big mood swing change which really surprised me and it was pretty funny. I was at home with Ling and he was playing on the computer for a while. He then came and bothered me and sort of holding me down while I was trying to wiggle free. My attempts didn't do anything and after a lot of struggle I don't know why but I began to cry and I was feeling very upset. Ling noticed it and was asking whats wrong, why am I crying and don't cry and that stuff. When I stopped crying and looked at him he asked me why I was upset and I replied with. . . I don't know :P

Cause to be honest I really didn't know why I suddenly began to cry it was sudden thing that happened what surprised me was after I responded to Ling he was like what the? and I just cracked up and I was just laughing a lot and I couldn't stop. I wasn't even sure why I was laughing but I was, so that was a drastic change in my moods that caught me attention.

Overall, I had a good 2 days with Ling and I now need to also plan for other events I wish to complete with some friends. I just hope that they have time and I know that 2 people already found jobs which means that they are gonna be busy especially Beautiful and her job hours annoy me. But it is her choice and she wants to earn money so it is fine

Worst start of the week

Monday is the worst day, i got really grumpy and pissed at my dad for constantly dragging me at and I feel so much sadness and lonliness and. . . I cant i cant explain. I WANNA SCREAM AND LET OUT ALL THIS SUPPRESSED FEELING AND I WANT TO LET SOMEONE KNOW SOMETHING BUT THEN I HOPE THEY REALISE IT THEMSELVES.

I feel selfish,  unimportant and stupid.

Stupid to want someone to know something that is on ur mind cause they obviously can't mind read

Stupid to believe that someone would tell something you expect them to tell you

Stupid to believe that they would spend lots of time with you especially since HSC

Stupid in being so selfish.

I feel so much pain in me. I ended up crying but I couldn't scream I wanted to be couldn't

Quick update

I know, i havent beem blogging a lot lately but that is mainly cause i have been busy. I thought I give a quick update first cause there is something else I wanna get off my chest.

So Friday was meant to be my day of rest but i was dragged out by my dad and later i went out with Ling to watch dracula. We had dinner and had a really nice day and had fun.

Saturday, I went out with my sister and had high tea on a boat and shopped for a formal dress. I happen to find out that had gone out the night before to a halloween party and i didnt even know until my sister wanted to interrogate him.

Sunday, I spent time with my family friends who I haven't seen in a long time. We had a BBQ and played around like wasting old paint and the usual board games. It was pretty fun and I really enjoyes myself.

That entire week was one of the best week of my life excluding the 3 HSC exams at the start of the week ^-^