Regret. . .

I did something horrible. I can't believe I did what I did. It is not like me and that side of me I have suppress for quite awhile.

I told my dad something I shouldn't have said. I tell I was acting without thinking I didn't mean it at all. My dad found out my dog came in and he said he wanted to throw her away. My reaction was huge, I was upset and angry and I told my dad if he throws her away, dont expect me to talk to him ever again. after a few seconds I said that I realised what I did and I regretted it. One, I feared he was going to get really angry and two I realised how hurtful those words must have been.

This time I admit wrong. I don't to and I know he doesn't admit it when he is wrong. However, I am not going to be like him. I admit I shouldn't have said that. I admit I was to hurtful. But also in my defence I am very moody recently, I am unable to control my own train thought and emotion.

I didn't know how to explained it but somehow I managed and he let it go. (surprisingly he is rather calm today about what I did). But even thought I explained he is over it. I am not. I tried explaining it to my mum and my eyes filled with tears. My eyes were watery when I explained to my dad. I moved around a lot hoping to cover it. I don't know what is wrong with me.

After all that, I went to bathroom let out my tears washed my face and hope to let it all pass. But my mum found out my eyes were read and asked if I cried and my dad heard and called me and asked if I was crying. I really wish they didn't. I confirmed to them I am fine I am not crying at all and I didn't cry. In saying that, tears dropped again. I don't understand why. I cry too easily. My emotions are just going haywire.

I am now just hoping nothing else would trigger that emotional spot. I don't want to say something regretful again or start crying for another reason.

I am sorry for the hurtful words. I really, really, really am sorry. (>~<) (TT^TT)