Calm~~~

During dinner, like always I was listening to my parents conversation. I don't understand everything they say cause it was in Shanghainese (can't spell it) which is another chinese dialect that I am not quite familiar with. Man and woman in this dialect is sort of confusing to me cause they sound exactly the same probably not for some people who are fluent in the language but it is for me.

This time I think they were talking about the laws of getting married and divorces. So basically about which party gets what and in what kind of situation, I don't think the conversation went very well. There was quite a lot of arguing and my dad finds it unfair that the properties and things we owner are meant to be split in half. He thinks this cause he is the sole breadwinner and has suffered more than my mum has. I admit that however, my mum takes care of all and I mean all of the housework (which come to think of it I shall help more now).  In addition my mum has work as well earning some kind of income for the household.

Anyway, so they continue to discuss which sounds so much like arguing and my dad becomes a little more angry. He didn't want to listen to what my mum had to say and told her to be quiet (not in the nice way I put it either.) I don't this made me feel more and more unease, I just had to leave the dinner table. Not letting the other side of me take control like it did the last time.

It is uncomfortable listening to my parents argue about divorce but then sometimes and only sometimes do I wish this happens. That way I don't have to constantly listen to their bickering and I don't have to deal with a lot of things that I have in the past. But then again, I guess it is better two have a whole family then two different ones. I don't know. . . There may be a few people out there wishing for two parents that are still together.

Honestly, I don't know. . . My home and my family never felt like one family before except the one time we went out for dinner and that was half complete cause my sister wasn't even there. So complicated >~<

In the future, I hope I would have the right guy that would be nothing like my dad and would give me that homey feeling that I have been searching for. When that day comes, there would be nothing I would ever want to complain about. All I ever wanted is one completely and happy family where everyone can lived that ordinary, plain and satisfying life.

I hope this day would come.