During dinner, my parents were talking about some random which i was listening to them but there are some parts I missed out on. Though I did hear about them talking about being parents and my dad blames my mum for making the relationship between my sister and him so bad. However, my mum says that it is his fault cause his actions and way of discipline and teaching a child is incorrect. My father like always never listens, he refuses to change his ways or to even admit that he is wrong.
My father and my sister since, I could remember was never on good terms and gradually my sister feelings towards my dad increased into hatred to the point she refuses to call him dad and I can't even remember the last time I have heard her call him dad. When my sister and I communicate she always use the word "him" and not dad, this is how bad their relationship is. I understand why my sister hates my dad so much though I always still believe that instead deep, deep, deep inside her heart she still likes him in some way. But as time passed I just saw more hatred in her heart towards him. On the other hand, I can see that my dad does still care for my sister he may not want to show it and had mention at dinner that he is the type of person who doesn't care about anyone. From what he had said, it is sounds so depressing how can he not care about anyone.
From my memories that I never wanted to look back on I see so much arguments and most of them is cause by my sister or that my sister jumped in to protect my mum which I really admire. I don't think I have jumped in to protect my mum but my mum has jumped in and defend me before. My sister is able to jump into the situation to stop any violence while I stand in the background screaming for things to stop. I want my sister courage to be able to stand up for what she believes in. Though if I really wanted something I want my family to be one for once and to be like an average family. Wishful thinking I know and all I can do is endure it which for now I can cause I have so much more other people I love and care about who also love and care about me.
I wish that my dad could admit that he did treat my sister badly and own up for severing his relationship with my sister and not blame on someone who is completely faultless. My sister as well should admit that she was wrong as she is wrong in some ways. But they are stubborn people who would not budge therefore resulting into this situation that would probably never be resolved. At times like these I am glad I have most of my personality from my mum cause she is truly the kindest, nicest person in the world. Come to think of it, I think I might admire my mum from being able to endure with all this over the years.
Well nothing would ever change and you know what I come to deal with it. Of course at times my emotional barrier cracks and I would not be able to ignore the arguments that may occur but I will always find a way to build it back up. Like my friends keeps telling to stand up be more confident and stop letting this things get to me. I will change and I am willing to change if I know how to they might need to guide me. (^.^)
It is true that friends are the family we choose for ourselves. We may not be able to choose our families but we are able to choose friends and they to me are so much more closer to me than anyone else except my mum I think though I can't tell everything to my mum like me dating. hehe~~~ (=~=|||)
Anyway, felt like blogging about some depressing family situations but now I need to get back to work and hopefully sleep early so I can be energetic tomorrow especially since I have 3hrs and a half of tuitions.
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