One thing after another

I don't know what's wrong these days... It is like one thing after another... it feels like depression is sinking in once again. So many things that is making me upset...

I just feel like I should be by myself for now. it feels like everything I do and say just makes things worse for me. I don't know if it is me or people around me it is just... I can't seem to do anything right recently and it is really getting to me... I think ever since Wednesday, I just been having a bad time nothing I do is turning out well.

Part of me wanna isolate myself away from the world or even just to elope and not give a damn about anything another part of me wants to leave this world... a little death wish to be honest so I can stop feeling this pain this emotion that comes at me like endless waves. I'm tired of always feeling depressed cause it now feel like everytime I am truly happy something in life has to come crashing down and turn my world upside down.

My heart my mind is losing it. I kind of sick of my life. really want to end it sometimes... sigh... I don't know what's up with me these days. maybe if I make the world believe my smile is real then maybe I will start believing in it myself or just slowly suffocate...