Special Day for a Special Someone

I hope I made this day special enough for the person I love so much. 

He has honestly made my life so much more 

interesting, happier and I feel safe with him. 

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH~~~

Today is his birthday, and I really wanted to spend this day with him. 

So I decided to leave really early in the morning 

where he picked me up and took me to his house so we had more time together. 

We honestly didn't do much other than stay at his house 

and just spend quality time together watching stuff together and eating together. 

I really hope I made this day special for him 

and him seem to be really happy even saying it was his best Bday ever 

and that is what I wanted it to be. 

So I am happy. 

I know he probably can't make this year as special as I did for him 

but as along as I made him happy I feel accomplished and satisfied. 

Happy Birthday Hun~~~ 

I Love You More Than You Will Ever Know~~~ 

@>3<@

Couple Dates and BB B'Day

I was meant to blog yesterday but I was so tired that day I just couldnt be bothered. But I shall today since, I feel refreshed and happy.

So yesterday, was my dear best friends Bday. Beautiful was planning on staying home and studying however I somehow convince her to go though I really don't remember or know how I actually did it. But oh well it worked out pretty well. So for the first time I met up with Beautiful's BF and we sort of had a couple date as I convinced Ling to come with us.

We started with karaoke, I was a little tired to start with on the day as I hadn't had a good sleep the night before and I did so much walking around and dancing for class that I felt exhausted. I quickly chose random songs cause no one was choosing and I ended up choosing most of the songs that day. Most of the songs we end up skipping halfway through it. At the start I was feeling sort of energetic however it died down pretty quickly. I believe another reason I was felt energetic was due to the little bit of food we had and the reason I was feeling really. . . when I was around Ling.

During the karaoke, I saw Beautiful so intimate with her BF and so happy also very clingy cause she wouldn't let him leave her side for even a few seconds. She followed him everywhere almost unless he need to go toilet or if she need to as well. I can't say for myself I wasn't clingy with Ling either though I think Beautiful was a little more than I was. Towards the end of karaoke I just gave in, I was to exhausted and I just gave up singing. I choose a few random songs for others to sing.

After karaoke, we left to dinner at a Japanese restaurant where they told us that we have to take 90 mins though I had a feeling we might have taken longer than that. Anyway we choose a few foods, there nice but I felt the portion and the price of the food was ridiculous and not worth it. However that is Japanese food they are yummy but sometimes not worth the price you pay for then again there seem like a lot of places that are like that.

Overall the food was nice, a bit expensive and to be honest I didn't feel completely full just yet but then I didn't really wanna order something else either. Beautiful really wanted to pay for dinner since Ling had paid for Karaoke but her BF wanted be a gentlemen and pay. I thought it was a good idea that the guys pay and I feel that money shouldn't be an issue in relationship though I feel a little hypocritical when I say that since I don't think about how much money I spend compared to Ling. But I don't want to make it into such a big deal.

After dinner, we decided to go our separate ways and let Beautiful spend some quality time with her BF even though she insists that she is giving me and Ling some private time. Ling and I were going to meet very early the next day so we didn't need to spend to much time that night anyway. So once we parted, Ling and I decided to get a little more food at Maccas as well as being able to collect stickers before we travelled back home. Ling and I parted ways once I reached my stop cause we knew that we had all day 2mr to spend with each other.

I had a great day and glad I finally meet Beautiful's BF. I was exhausted but enjoyed. I really glad Beautiful enjoy her Bday night. ^.^

Happy Birthday Beautiful (a little late since I blogged the next day but oh well :P )

So Annoyed

So I thought this presentation this time was gonna be good

since I don't have the same partner as last time.

I thought we would be able to complete the task today

before around like at least 9 however.

I tried contacting her on fb and she hasn't seen it nor replied 

and haven't done the part I have assigned her too.

So I thought why not, I will go a step forward

in case she didn't finish analysing one part and completing it the day before

when I decided to go to sleep.

So I finish the next part that I thought she might have done

and sent a message to her on fb still no reply

and it is getting late

 and I don't wanna be working into the late hours at night

and I don't want to be doing all this all by myself.

Maybe she has family things she has to sort out

but my gosh this thing is due 2mr and I don't think we even have half of it done.

So far it seems that only I have done most of the work.

It is so irritating.

Where is she???

Emotion Rampage

Been really emotional today, I don't know why but just had so much going on in my head. Today start of with being with Ling on the car where we slept in the car in the morning. I was woken up a couple of times and feeling a little irritated. Later I wanted play with Ling a little but then he wasn't interested and kept stopping and I got bored and irritate and some how start arguing and sort of throwing a mini tantrum.

I realised it wasn't his fault just me being very frustrated and irritated for no reason and I didn't know how to calm it down. The more I thought into it, the more irritated and pissed I got and all I wanted to do was punch something or throwing something or even just scream at the top of my lungs but I couldn't at that time. So I ended up just pinching and squeezing my arm until I felt better. I didn't wanna cut into my skin but when I felt the pain in my arm, I felt some sort of relief and once I calmed I didn't feel anything.

I thought about how Ling might be angry and leave me but I felt nothing except a hint of sadness inside me but it was like a wall blocking every feeling away from me. I had no feelings anymore and I felt calm. So I thought I should be the one to make up for what happened with Ling since I knew it was me who caused it and I don't even know why I did it. So I hugged his arm when he was driving and tried to hold his hand but he let go of my hand and wouldn't let me hold it.

That feeling cut me so deep. I felt like he didn't love me anymore, he didn't want me anymore I tried a couple more times and I felt hurt and upset and I finally felt something and tears start rushing down my cheeks and I was happy about it cause I could finally just let all my feelings out. I wanted to cry yesterday but I held it in and I wanted to cry before when I was angry but nothing came out. But now I was crying cause I felt sadden that I made Ling no want me anymore. However, around the 3rd attempt he changed his mind and held my hand. I was relieved, upset, happy and all I thought was finally I can let all these feelings out as well as I never want to let this person go again.

I didn't but before lunch when I was telling him about how I was feeling something he said made me feel depressed again and I just felt completely bad about myself. Felt like I can't do anything right and I didn't do anything right. All these negative things about myself all came rushing in my head and even though Ling tried to cheer me up nothing worked and kept being depressed until I came home.

I started distracting my mind for all this depression however Ling called me and told me he probably won't make it tomorrow, he might for dinner and he will call me tomorrow to tell me. That moment I felt really upset, I know why he couldn't but I should understand that he needs to help his dad with something and it probably very important. But I couldn't help feeling upset and I really wanted him there tomorrow. I can't help but feel sad and he told me not to be depressed but I can't help it. I wanna cry and wanna tell come don't leave me. I want him to understand that I need him right now and that I will break apart if he isn't here to support. I want him to ignore his dad's needs to come but I am being selfish and I know I can't tell him to do that. I know he cant be here right now to support me to cheer me up. . .

I just don't know what is going on with me and I just wont someone to understand. I want him to understand but I know I cant tell him. I cant do anything TT^TT

Second Surprise

Today I was planning a something special for Ling and I needed everything to go well and that Ling wouldn't suspect anything. So in the morning we had already paid for a breakfast buffet which we got early-ish to go down and have breakfast. The food there was alright but was quite filling. There was a cool toast conveyer belt, where you slide a bread on to the conveyer belt and it brings the bread into the toaster and the dispensers the toasted bread at the point. I was very intrigued by it as well as confused at the start at how I was gonna toast my bread.

After breakfast, we returned into our room where I clean and pack some things first before jumping back on the bed to sleep again for another 1hr before we had to check out. We were a little delayed when checking out but they didn't charge as luckily. So once we left the hotel we went back to the star but our bags away and only carried our wallets and phone before leaving again.

We took the taxi to townhall, where my surprise for him was waiting. We walked by the cinema and I realise I couldn't find my surprise so I was pretending I was lost which I knew that would be suspicious and that Ling would realise what was gonna happen. Anyway after a while of wondering around Rosie finally jumped out and surprised him a bit. But he sort of expected it. Rosie had brought a cake with her as planned from 85C bakery shop which was apparently very expensive.

The three of us travelled to Martin Place were we just picked a random place to eat the cake which was a Italian Chocolate mousse cake which taste pretty nice and very sweet. After that we packed and left to find the friends Central perk stall, which along the way we started exploring around and found a guy making big bubbles with a young little girl running after them jumping to pop them. Pretty cute and Ling gave him some spare change and ask him to make a big bubble for me to pop.

After a lot more wondering and getting lost we finally found the place only to find a huge line waiting to get in. Seeing the line we all just decided to go around look what it was like and then leave cause we didn't think it was worth waiting in line only just to seat on the coach take a few photos and then get a free coffee and go. So after that we left, for lunch in townhall at pepper lunch which I have been craving to have for quite some time. It took about 8 mins to get there.

After lunch, we were discussing what to do afterwards and Ling seemed to really want to go watch a scary movie and sort of blackmailed me in saying that if I didn't watch one with them I am not a good girlfriend. I felt pretty upset that time cause after everything I did and spent for that weekend and he said such words made me feel pretty upset. I agreed unwilling and randomly thought about something my sister said about shanghainese guys and I felt one part was true but then that thought was broken when in the end he suggest to just go to the arcade nearby and so that was what we did.

At the arcade we played a few games and it was very entertaining except the scary game at the start which Ling made Rosie play and she was panicking and getting scared from all the jump scares. I was scared to but at least for me I blocked my ears so the sound from the game didn't effect me too much. After that we had played another shooting game, basketball throwing game, table hockey game, and driving game which I won and I was very proud of it. We also test our strength and Ling almost beated his last record and injured himself again this time.

After the arcade, we left for maccas to redeem some tickets before leaving for the star so that Ling would send us home. Overall it was a fun day though there was a few ups and downs today but in the end it seems that I have made things up and everything is back to normal. . . I hope. Oh well I hope Ling had a great B'day surprise.

Ling's Surprise

On Saturday, I went out with Ling and brought some snacks for later that day as well as having lunch at Granny's Noodles. I love that place it is nice cause I love the noodles ahh so yummy. The day before I had accidently slipped out that I booked a room for us to say for the night. So we prepared things for the night.

When we got the city, we walked from the star to our hotel place and paid for our room which had a great view of Darling Harbor. Early that day I had given him his B'day card along with his game card for his favourite game currently called Dragon Nest. When we were in the hotel room we tried to get the internet working however, we couldn't so instead Ling used his own internet for a while as I open the TV to entertain myself.

Once he was done with  his game, which didn't take to long as he didn't stay on for that long, we decided to go out and grab some dinner along with asking the front desk about how to get the internet working. They sorted it out in no time and we left for dinner. Ling was craving for Kebabs so we left to the food court nearby where he got his snack pack which he loved while I grabbed some Maccas before we returned to the hotel.

While we had dinner, we were watching movies that was display on TV, the first one was called 'Big Momma 2'. During the movie, outside our window we saw that there were fireworks and I felt really lucky that I was able to book a room with this view on this day to see fireworks. We weren't show why there was fireworks but I felt really happy that we had such a good view of them. Later, we fixed the internet and Ling went on DN to do a few things while I switch between channels waiting for 'I am number four' to come on TV.

Once it started Ling came back on the bed to watch with me. The movie was create and very entertaining however the adds in between was very annoying. Once the movie ended it was pretty late but we became a little hungry so he had some of our snack which included instant noodles. On television only Yu-gi-o (cant spell it sorry) was on so we watched that while we ate. Once we finished we watched a while longer until I fell asleep half way.

That was pretty much how the first day ended. I had another surprise for him the next day which I would blog about on a new post. :) Overall I had a great day and Ling seemed to really enjoy himself and I  was glad that he did. So I'm pretty happy.

Tiring Day

This morning before I slept which was roughly around like 2-3am, I was feeling a little depressed cause I felt somewhat dishearten. I was dishearten that I couldn't be in Ling's embrace as I slept and dishearten that he didn't wait and call me on Skype so we can Skype all night like we used to. But as planned in the morning I woke up and got ready to go around shopping for Ling's gift.

I travelled to townhall in search of the gift I had in mind, I used my phone to find the stores I wanted to go thought it was extremely difficult to navigate through it as it had multiply levels. Every shop I did find was super expensive and I decided that in the end I got to this one shop I been before which was 8 times cheaper. I also found some other interesting things and I thought that I should buy cause he would enjoy it.

I haven't walked so much in such a long time that I was feeling exhausted after all the shopping but I couldn't rest yet as I had some Centrelink things I had deal with and dinner with my sister and mum later that night. Centrelink was dealt with pretty quickly however dinner was tiring as I had to shop with my sister for some Halloween things, like a head/skull-looking bowl and ghost cookies cutters.

In the end we didn't even get anything cause we couldn't find any. But I'm just glad that I finish all preparations for Ling's Bday I hope he likes it ^.^

Finally I can relax, I can't wait till the weekend comes >v<

Mum's Home

My mum came back home today nothing very interesting except getting a gift from my cousin and I got a charger power pack which I have been wanting and waiting for quite some time. I do miss my mum now that I don't have to do anything and my mum is back to cooking meals and cleaning and everything else. Having to leave on your own makes you appreciate the times when you were younger and your parents took care of your every needs.

But to be honest, I would still rather be out and independent and I know I might not be as good at keeping the house clean or cooking or doing those normal house chores. But I really love the feeling of being independent and that I have someone I love next to me which reminds me how much I miss Ling staying over at my house. I really wanna move out with him soon and live that independent life I want.

My sister also came home today and spent dinner with my mum and I though everyone wasn't really conversing during dinner time cause my sister was watching TV while I had my laptop. So I don't know it just didn't feel like a family dinner but we are going out tomorrow to eat so hopefully then we can actually do some family bonding.

Finally thing, I wanna mention and I believe everyone who read the previous blog and this blog would know already. But I MISS LING SO MUCH and I especially thought of him when I freaked out about the spider in my room and than got a huge panic attack after capturing it, releasing it and finding a large cockroach on the wall right next to you. My Gosh, I was on the brink of tears so close to crying and all I thought was I wish Ling was here cause if he was I would feel more comforted and relax and wouldn't have to do all this. It also reminded me of how I used to scream when there was a huge bug and Ling would come running over to me worried and the help me get rid of the bug. I miss him. . . Y did he have to leave???

Sigh. . . One good thing is I would see him soon and I am gonna make a big surprise for him even though I know he already know parts of the surprise but he doesn't know that I am giving him extra gifts. You know I think he knows I am gonna get him things and maybe even know what I am gonna get him cause I not good at hiding things and he seem to just know me to well. But I would do anything just for Ling. I just LOVE HIM SO MUCH. You hear that, I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOUR PRESENCE. . . sigh I wish he was here. . .

I want to come back

I want to come back to blogging life but than again there isn't anything. I really wanna blog about and nothing knew happens to me. Nowadays I spend my time at uni at home with family when there not overseas or spend my time at Ling's house. There isn't much to blog about and not also a lot of time to blog.

Maybe this month I can blog more since there is a lot more things gonna happen. But then again I do have like 3 more assignments I need to hand in and by the end of this month it wouldn't be so busy. . .

Oh well, we'll see. I'm just gonna wait for my mum to come back along with Pat calling me which he hasn't done yet and I still missing him like hell. I wonder if he feels the same way??? Sigh. . . Missing someone is so painful. TT^TT

I Miss Him So Much

I never thought I would miss someone so much that I would cry when the leave. TT^TT

In the last few weeks, my parents have been overseas and I invited Ling to stay over cause being along at home seems a bit lonely though I rather be alone then have my parents or rather my dad at home. So he has been living with me and we spend everyday and every minute together however my mum is coming home today and he had to leave. I started crying when he left and I didn't think I would be so emotional when he left.

I really really miss him and I never gonna forget our time living together. I just hope soon in the future we could move in together when we both jobs where we can pay for rent and bills and just live together independently. It would be hard telling my parents this but I really wanna be with pat every single day and night. This is how much I love him, how much I miss him, that right now I am still have tears trickling down my cheeks.

I am happy my mum is coming back and I do want her back cause a lot of things would be easier. BUT OMG I MISS HIM SO MUCH. SO SO SO SO MUCH. I know it is not a break up or anything but still I can't help but start tearing up TT^TT

MISS YOU SOOOOOOOO MUCH LING~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

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