I haven't blogged in a while and I thought I should blog something random. The first that comes to mind is something that had bother me a while ago. I told myself I don't care about it anymore and I don't care about that specific person anymore but if I really didn't care I wouldn't constantly wonder whether how she is and what is going on with her keeping up to date with the things going around her life.
My mum told me maybe it was herself that didn't wanna be friends with me and was upset with her and just used another excuse to cover it up. I thought not that isn't possible but then my mum is like she might just been really normal and nice on the trip just cause she had no one else at the time and need us at the particular moment. I thought about and I felt really pissed cause if that was the case then what I think about her would completely change instead I will be filled with anger and hatred because I filled used.
My mum just wanted to warn me not to think that everyone in this would is nice and not to think a little more complex into what people are thinking about. But don't do things that would harm others to, just protect yourself from getting hurt. It makes a lot of sense and I guess I always viewed that people are nice and no one has the thought of doing something that would hurt another person. In actual fact there are many people who do.
Ling was right, she was not a good friend. Someone who would break things off without a word or an explanation is just not right. Yes I admit what I did was bad but is this the way to deal with it. If you think about it I never lied or back stabbed you in the back before. I believe that those things are much worse than what I did. I can't understand and I don't understand why things turned out like this and if she wanted me to then she could have explained.
Ahh I am confused now. I doubt she would ever read this but if she does well then I would like to say that she is liar. A friend of mine who read this might not think so but it is what I think. Cause she once told me that the only thing she can't stand in a person is a person lying to her face or someone back stabbing her or someone pretending to be her friend yet I did none of those but I am treated like those who have done that to her. Well so be it.
Sigh~ Even though I say this, I still care cause I can't seem to stop. A part of me wanna believe that there is some misunderstanding or something that is blocking this friendship but you know what it has been almost 3 months and I had not once received any news so maybe I should just stop giving hope to this idea.
I don't know what to do now. . .
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