What Is this?

I can't believe how clingy I am becoming, but then again I have this restrictions and it just makes these separations worse. >.< I don't know anymore.

You know throughout my uni life so far, I haven't spend so much time with Ling. In high school, you always see your friends everyday and I never had the time to spend with pat as much. But with Uni life, all your friends from high school go to different uni's make new friends do different things and the only one that would really always stay with you is ur BF. Not the case with some people but definitely in my case.

You know, I had a different view about Uni. Looking at how my sister turned out with hers I felt that for me it would be the same but it isn't. Most of the friends you make in high school doesn't seem to stay with you and it is hard when there are some people that just don't try to make the effort to actually stay in contact with you. Even before uni started, you would have realised who are the ones you would keep in contact cause contact them outside of school often.

This wasn't exactly the main point I was trying to get out sort of went of track.

Anyway going back on track, this feeling I am having is that I really miss Ling. Like it feels odd that haven't spend any of my time in the weekend to spend with him and at first I feel that I haven't been at home for awhile and I should. But then again, I kept thinking about Ling and I kept missing him and it feels painful and when I saw a photo of him on snapchat it  gave this sort of weird feeling. I kept looking at the photo over and over again. I just. . . I am really in love with him and I never knew that this is what it feels like to love someone so much.

I wanna spend everyday, every minute and every second with him if I could. But I am bound into a family into a tradition where my parents restricts me from going out to late and partying and having fun like the normal Australian young adults do. I hate being in an asian family that is so traditional that they stop you from what you want to do. Or maybe I am just too scared. Too scared of having no family to go to when I am in need. Too scared that I lose they only shelter I really have right now. Too scared of just upsetting them.

I know I have Ling to always go to but there is a tiny part of me where I think what if somethings happens and I don't have him what would I do then.

I hate being judge and that is all people do they judge you for what you do and for who you are. They may not say it but they think and I hate it.

AHHHH. . . I am rambling on and I don't even know what I am going on about. But the point is, I miss him and I wish I could move out with him and parents wouldn't give a crap if I did and what I did and just let me make my own choices and not care (though I know they are just worried about me). I need them to let me just spread my wings and leave the nest and have my independence. Sometimes I wish I was an animal where you parents care for you till you are old enough to just survive on your own. Animals have no need for money or beauty or anything like that. They just need to eat, sleep, drink survive and find a mate and have a happy family (though some animals have many mates and many families. . . which I don't want that to happen O.O)

Oh well. . . I just miss him =.=